


Third Time's The Charm (If Time Allows)

by Trashcanakin



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Author isn't a genius, Background pepper/OMC (brief), Brief mentions of original character, Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Cheeky Banter, Domestic Fluff, Don't copy to another site, Fluff and Humor, Getting Together, Gratuitous time hops, Hurt/Comfort, I don't know what I'm doing, I'm doing my best, Idiots in Love, James "Rhodey" Rhodes is a Good Bro, M/M, MCD but not really, Mutual Pining, Nightmares, Past Pepperony, Past Relationship(s), Pepper Potts Is a Good Bro, Please be kind I made up all the sciency stuff, Pop culture references a plenty, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Pre-Slash, Reading, Sam Wilson Is a Good Bro, Tony Stark Feels, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Touch-Starved, handwavey science
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-06
Updated: 2020-01-06
Packaged: 2021-02-27 13:48:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 21,879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22077985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Trashcanakin/pseuds/Trashcanakin
Summary: Post-Endgame, Bucky is being haunted by Tony Stark's ghost. But if he's a ghost, then why is Stark insisting he's not really dead? And why is Bucky the only one who can see him?
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Tony Stark
Comments: 26
Kudos: 224
Collections: 2019 WinterIron_Holiday_Exchange





	Third Time's The Charm (If Time Allows)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sara_wolfe](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sara_wolfe/gifts).



> Made for the Winteriron Holiday Exchange! 
> 
> For sara_wolfe's prompt:  
> Post-Endgame, Bucky is being haunted by Tony Stark's ghost. But if he's a ghost, then why is Stark insisting he's not really dead? And why is Bucky the only one who can see him?
> 
> \---
> 
> So! This one really got away from me! I hope y'all like it. There's a lotta shenanigans to read through, haha. I tried takin' account of all the likes ya asked for, so I hope this is to your liking! 
> 
> Handwavey magiks for days 👌👌
> 
> I really didn't wanna post this all in one swoop, since it became so long, but I wasn't sure how to add chapters while also still filling the anonymous post thing.

⤜⤑⤑⋆✩❂✩⋆⬸⬸⤛

Bucky startled awake in a cold sweat, dread lodged deep into his core; and an eerie feeling that  _ something _ was watching him. He looked around the room, head shooting side to side, eyes wide and searching; trying to will his heart to still back to a normal thrum. There was nobody else present, he was alone. 

Tossing his blankets to the side and forcing himself out of bed, he decided to go to the kitchen for a glass of water. He could have easily gotten water from his own room, but the strange feeling still lingered in the air and he would rather be anywhere else. 

The fact that he dreamt of Tony Stark, again, goes ignored. 

⤜⤑⤑⋆✩❂✩⋆⬸⬸⤛

He slowly made his way to the common area, noting the time; 12:00 A.M. Midnight. The hair prickled the back of his neck and he still felt an unease hovering around; like there was a presence with him. It left him on edge, but he hoped it was just the remnants of emotions clinging from the nightmare. 

The soft clink of glass against the faucet was the only sound that cut through the silence of the night, followed by the stream of cool water trickling down and filling it up. Bucky raised the glass to his lips and took a few large gulps before clenching his eyes closed and inhaling deeply. 

He was fine, it was only a terrible dream, this feeling would go away; he was  _ fine.  _

After taking a few more deep breaths he began to turn around, but what—no, _ who _ —he saw halted his every movement and ripped a shocked gasp out of him. He had prepared to lean against the counter and finish his drink before heading back to his room, but now said drink lay in a wet, shattered mess all over the tiled floor. 

Bucky would have cleaned up the mess he'd made, but he couldn't pry his eyes away from the man in front of him; a man who could absolutely not be standing there staring back at him. 

Tony Stark. 

Tony Stark  _ died _ two years ago. 

_ This wasn't possible.  _

Both he and Tony went to speak at the same time, halting each other's words dead in their tracks. Bucky remained quiet after, so Tony took it as a go ahead and tried again; but Sam walked into the room before he could say anything.

"You alright man?" Sam asked, gaze shifting from Bucky to the shattered glass on the floor. 

Bucky remained silent, unable to break his fixed stare. 

"Bucky?" Sam tried again, noticing the paleness of his friend's skin and the way the man was staring wide-eyed at the wall, "You should go back to your room, yeah? I'll clean this up, don't worry about it." 

The light squeeze of Sam's hand on his upper arm finally shifted his focus; pulling Bucky's attention away from Tony. "What?" was the only thing he could manage to say. He'd known someone else walked in, but mentally didn't acknowledge anything else; he wasn't even sure if Sam had spoken to him. 

"You look like you've seen a ghost, buddy," Sam said, cracking a slight smile, hoping it would ease Bucky's obvious torment even if only a little. 

"Ghost, yeah," Bucky rasped out, eyes flicking back toward Tony.

Sam's eyes trailed the path Bucky's took, following them to the back wall. His eyesight wasn't as good in the dark, so he squinted, trying to see what Bucky's sight was fixed on. He saw nothing. 

"What are you looking at?" he asked, eyes drifting slowly around the room. 

"Nothin', it's… nothin'," Bucky muttered as his eyes clenched shut again, bringing his hands up to rub at them. 

"Alright, just head back to bed, okay?" Sam said, resting his hand atop Bucky's shoulder, trying to usher the man to start moving; "And watch the glass." 

Bucky simply grunted in response, carefully stepping over the mess and walking back to his room. He shot one last look toward Tony before he exited the kitchen. 

He was still there. 

⤜⤑⤑⋆✩❂✩⋆⬸⬸⤛

Tony watched Bucky walk away, his frame disappearing down the hall; then turned back to Sam who moved to flick the light on so he could see better.

"Sam," he tried, but the man didn't even twitch. 

So Sam couldn't see or hear him. 

But Bucky  _ could. _

He mulled it over in his head a few times whether or not he should bother the man again, but eventually curiosity and desperation won out; so he set off down the hall after him.

⤜⤑⤑⋆✩❂✩⋆⬸⬸⤛

When Tony made it to Bucky's bedroom, he tried knocking, but his hand phased through the door instead of making any solid contact, his skin appearing to flicker where it crossed. It surprised him at first, but then again, this entire night was one big surprise after the other. 

Before he could have any other thoughts, he was startled by the loud thud on the other end of the door; the distinct sound of a blade being buried into wood. Pulling his hand back to his side, he questioned the universe as to why Barnes could see him when nobody else seemed to be able to.

He had run to Rhodey's room at the compound first, or so he thought; but for reasons he can't understand, everything was different. Rhodey's room wasn't where it was before, so he started wandering aimlessly, hoping to see someone or something recognizable. Eventually his stroll brought him into a room where he saw none other than the Winter Soldier sleeping, albeit restlessly. He turned around to leave instantly, being in Barnes's room was exactly where he  _ didn't  _ want to be; but the man had sprang up at the speed of light, wide awake, and looking like a wild animal being cornered and threatened with a cage. Barnes got up and left the room, and well, you know the rest. That's how he ended up here, weighing his options and contemplating whether or not trying to speak with  _ Barnes _ of all people was in his best interests. 

"Well, beggars can't be choosers," he mumbled almost silently before shoving his face right through the door, "Hi there, Barnes!" he exclaimed, hoping for the best. 

He was met with another knife being thrust into the door, this time straight through his head; and the sheer, almost feral look of shock on the other man's face. Barnes was breathing a little heavily and looked like he was less than three seconds to leaping out the window just to avoid this confrontation. 

Peering up at the knife which would have been imbedded right between his eyes, he tried for humor, "You should pick up darts," he said, forcing a smile he didn't entirely feel. 

"What?" Bucky asked incredulously. 

"You know, because you hit the mark, throw straight, bullseye." 

"No, no, I mean," he began, shaking his head back and forth, " _ What?!"  _ Bucky tried again, but his mind was racing a mile a minute and he couldn't focus on stringing together proper sentences; let alone trying to make sense of why  _ Tony Stark _ was peeking into his room  _ through the door _ . 

As if on queue, Tony stepped fully into Barnes's room, peering around as he did. Now that the light was on, he could actually see it clearly; but his attention was immediately pulled back to the room's owner.

"No, no, no!" Bucky shrieked, head shaking back and forth in disbelief; "I  _ cannot _ be hallucinatin'  _ you _ , of all people." 

"I'm not a halluci- hey, wait a minute! Why  _ me of all people? _ " Tony guffawed, "What's so wrong with me?" 

Bucky simply gaped back at him, a look that read  _ are you really asking that?  _ plastered to his face. 

"Yeah, okay, Barnes; I'll give you that one," he replied instead, "But really, I'm not a hallucination, you're fine, good, great even! Nothing wrong with the old head space, promise." 

After a short hesitation and a few breaths to steady the rapid pattering his heart was doing, Bucky spoke back up, "Ya don't know me well enough to promise that." 

"That is true, I suppose" Tony responded, ignoring the  _ something _ he felt unfurl inside his chest. He knew what Bucky had gone through, he saw the files; he didn't really want to think about that. 

"So, you're a ghost then?" Bucky asked instead, and Tony was thankful to be pulled from his thoughts. 

"Nope, not a ghost either." 

"Uh huh," Bucky deadpanned, not really believing anything the  _ whatever-he-was  _ in front of him was saying, "That's why I just saw ya walk  _ through _ my door? Which was locked, by the way." 

"Yeah, about that...I'm not sure if I'm being honest, but I'm not dead! I'm…" 

"Stark," Bucky started, but Tony cut him off.

"I tried talking to Sam, but it doesn't look like he can see me. Where's Rhodey? Did he change rooms?" 

"The Colonel doesn't really stay here much anymore," Bucky supplied. 

"What do you mean?"

Bucky let the silence grow between them once more, pausing briefly before deciding on his next question, "How much do ya remember?" 

Tony considered the question for awhile, confused mostly about why it was asked in the first place; he knew exactly what had happened, and so should everyone else. 

"We were fighting Thanos, and I used the stones, then I ended up here at the compound. Honestly, I'm not even sure how I got here."

"It's been two years since that fight, Stark," Bucky states hesitantly, a hint of caution slipping across his face, weariness seeping into his bones.

Tony looked taken aback by his words. "Two years?!" he asked incredulously, wide eyes morphed by furrowed brows. 

Bucky takes in Tony's reaction as he watches the other man. Ghost? Apparition? Hell, even the man being a hallucination  _ would _ make a little bit of sense knowing Bucky's track record. The truth of the matter is, he isn't sure  _ what _ exactly he's looking at; but whatever it is, it's definitely Tony Stark. 

"Yeah, it's been two years since ya… died," Bucky muttered. 

"But I'm not dead!" Tony guffawed. 

"As ya keep sayin'."

"I'm telling the truth," Tony said, looking down towards his hand, the one that held the gauntlet, "I'm… not." 

Bucky stared across the room at Tony and something in his chest ached for the man; he sounded so defeated where only a few moments ago he was chipper and making terrible jokes. He wasn't sure how to console the man, Hell, he still wasn't sure he believed this whole thing wasn't some fever dream; but he wanted to try. 

"Hey, Stark, ya alright?"

Tony's focus snapped back to Bucky, their eyes met and Bucky could see all the hurt and confusion swimming within the depths of that deep brown. Tony didn't respond, instead he pivoted and basically ran back through the door. 

"Wait!" Bucky shouted, springing forwards to unlock and open his door as quickly as he could. He looked down the hall, but Tony was nowhere to be seen.

Letting out a deep sigh, Bucky closed his door, once again locking it, then walked over and slumped down on his bed. He was  _ exhausted _ ; and the restless sleep he'd been having lately isn't helping by any means. He lay down once more, hoping to drift off to an easy sleep. 

Maybe seeing Tony  _ was _ only a figment of his imagination. Maybe he'll wake up and it will all have been a terrible dream cooked up by his tattered mind. 

Either way, real or not, he drifted off with Tony on his mind; the pang of hurt he felt for the man previously still evident. He thought of the man's eyes, how Tony looked utterly  _ lost _ and maybe the slightest bit scared; Bucky could relate to that. 

Bucky fell asleep knowing that he wanted to help Tony if he could, if the man would let him; and he isn't quite sure how he feels about that.

⤜⤑⤑⋆✩❂✩⋆⬸⬸⤛

Bucky roused from his slumber as warm gleams of sunlight peppered his face, his nose scrunching adorably. As his eyes fluttered open, he rolled onto his side and squinted at the window where the light was filtering in.

_ Birds _ , he thought. When was the last time he'd slept long enough to hear the cheerful chirping of birds upon waking? How long was he asleep for anyways? Before he could think too long on that and actually check the time, a voice spoke up destroying the serenity he felt from being well rested. 

"Good morning, Sleeping Beauty." 

Bucky shot upwards in a blink, his hackles raised and his hair in disarray. He pulled a dagger out while shooting a look of alarm in the direction of the offending voice, ready to attack if necessary. However, the anxiousness he'd felt morphed into embarrassment when Tony's frame came into focus. Considering the situation and the realization of what Tony had actually said, his face heated like a kettle; cheeks being splattered with a tinge of pink. 

"Stark!" he barked out in surprise, looking mortified. His hand holding the dagger lowered, and though he still didn't know how to process Tony Stark  _ being in his room _ and  _ how long has he been there? _ his anxiety soothed itself and the tension in his body evened out, allowing him to relax a little. 

Tony couldn't stop the smile that forced its way out at Bucky's reaction, bringing his hand up to hide it. He didn't intend to smile at anything the Winter Soldier did, and he definitely _didn't_ need to be thinking of the man as _adorable_. He realized that appearing uninvited into Bucky's room was probably not the best way to go about things, but since he didn't have the ability to knock, and had no one else to go to, he may as well; and if doing so meant seeing the ethereal look of the man being roused out of sleep, then who was Tony to deny himself the pleasure? Causing a blush to dust Bucky's face was just an added bonus. 

_ No, Tony, bad! _

Bucky visibly calmed down, and Tony took that as his que to talk, "Sorry for startling you, Barnes. I guess I should have  _ knocked _ ," he grinned, not hiding his amusement at all.

Bucky's expression went completely blank at the words. Was Tony  _ really _ making a joke about what happened the night before? He sent a scowl at Tony as a response, but there was no real heat behind it. 

"Okay, so that was bad, I'll be the first to admit it; but you have to agree, it's still kind of funny." 

"If ya say so," Bucky replied through a yawn; lifting his arms to stretch the tightness of sleep from his muscles. 

Tony found himself watching as the man's back arched forwards, eyes trailing down to where the rumpled blankets just barely covered the waistband of his sweats, and his mouth went dry. Why did it take this long to notice that Bucky slept without a shirt on? It isn't as if he'd never seen another man shirtless before, but there was already something intimate about being inside someone else's room as they woke up; and with them being half nude to boot, it was  _ far too intimate. _ He felt his face flush at the thought, trying to will himself to look away because this was  _ bad, dirty, wrong.  _ Thankfully, the loud pop of Bucky cracking his neck was enough to snap Tony out of it and he turned his head to the side so fast he's surprised it stayed attached. 

Unfortunately for Tony, that turned Bucky's focus back to him, and Tony still hadn't completely poised himself from his disobedient thoughts. 

"Ya alright there, Stark?" he asked, brow cocking up the tiniest bit. 

"What?" was all Tony's genius could bribe him to say. 

"Ya look, I dunno, off I guess." 

"What?" 

_ Dammit Tony, compose yourself! You're not a little blushing school girl!  _ He mentally berated himself for the embarrassment that was sure to follow his brilliant responses. 

Bucky instead huffed out a tiny laugh, the corners of his mouth tilting upwards. The rays of the morning sun still beat down upon him through the shutters making him look stunning and soft. 

_ God why was that so endearing _ ? Tony thought,  _ he looks like a damn prince! _

They both remained seated in silence for a blip of time, before Bucky tossed his covers to the side, got up, and started moving. 

_ Good, at least he was wearing pants,  _ Tony thought again;  _ thank God for small mercies. _

"So, what are ya doin' here? I thought for sure ya wouldn't come back," Bucky asked while grabbing some clothes out of his dresser, "If I'm bein' honest, I wasn't completely convinced I didn't just lose my mind for good this time." 

"I'm not a figment of your imagination, Barnes, I already told you that. I'm  _ real _ ." 

"Hey, I donno, some would argue that ghosts are real." 

"I'm not a ghost either!" Tony squawked, "Honestly, it's like you don't even listen to me," he lilted dramatically. 

"I'm listenin', Stark; it's just… hard to believe," he muttered, turning to look at Tony, "Ya gotta admit, showin' up after two years, walkin' through walls… doesn't paint a good picture for ya." 

"I'll paint you a picture," Tony grumbled, narrowing his eyes at the other man. 

"Well, I'm gonna go take a shower now, so unless ya wanna paint me like one of your French girls, ya might wanna get outta here," Bucky announced, shooting a grin at Tony. 

That shocked a sound out of Tony he's not even sure he could put a word to; his face warming up at the images his mind  _ so graciously  _ supplied. 

Not waiting for a reply, Bucky huffed out a chuckle at Tony's reaction and walked into the bathroom, closing the door behind him. There was a short pause before the door cracked back open and Bucky popped his head out, "And I know doors don't mean anything to  _ you _ , so no peekin', Stark."

"I'm not going to do that!" Tony shrieked, watching Bucky slink back into the bathroom with a smirk on his face, closing the door again. He wished to all the Gods that he could have actually thrown something.  _ That cheeky bastard,  _ he thought; hoping his cheeks weren't tinted as red as the fire they felt. 

Tony heard the sound of the shower turning on and contemplated what to do next. He still had things he wanted to discuss with Bucky; his main purpose for coming back to the man, but it would have to wait. As much as he wanted to figure this whole thing out, he didn't wish to ruin the man's daily routine, or whatever it was he did; he's already bothering him enough. 

He simply stood there for a small while, waiting; but then the reality of the situation clubbed him right upside the head. He was standing in the man's room, while he  _ showered _ just feet away.  _ Naked! _

"Yeah, nope! No thank you on  _ those _ thoughts," Tony muttered to himself, before dutily fleeing the scene and speed walking through the door.

He would wait literally anywhere else. 

⤜⤑⤑⋆✩❂✩⋆⬸⬸⤛

When Bucky finished up and walked back into his bedroom, he was only moderately shocked at finding it empty. It isn't like he was  _ expecting _ Tony to sit around doing nothing, twiddling his thumbs as he waited; but he assumed he at least had a reason for being there in the first place. He pondered whether he was upset by it or not, over the fact that Tony had left instead of waiting; of whether he had  _ wanted _ Tony to still be there. He quickly filed that in the back of his mind under: Things to  _ immediately _ ignore. 

Instead, he made his way to the kitchen for something to eat. 

And if he hoped he'd run into Tony on the way? Well, that was nobody's business. 

⤜⤑⤑⋆✩❂✩⋆⬸⬸⤛

Bucky had sat through almost the entirety of his meal; cooking, eating, starting on the clean up, and had yet to see Tony. It was making him feel anxious, but he couldn't pinpoint where that nervousness was rooted from. Tony was a grown ass adult, he was allowed to travel through the compound on his own; Bucky wasn't his keeper… but it still left him with a sense of unease. 

Was he losing it for good this time? He was still getting used to seeing Tony at all, since the man was, you know,  _ dead; _ but there was also something more clawing at the back of his mind. What if he really was hallucinating? What if whatever HYDRA did to him finally destroyed his brain for good. Why hadn't he told anyone about seeing Tony yet? Was he afraid of what they might say? What if Tony never comes back? Did he  _ want _ Tony to come back? 

After letting his thoughts assault him for who knows how long, he finally figured out the root of his dread; and honestly it wasn't what he expected. Because at the end of the day, insanity or not… he still  _ wanted _ Tony to come back; to be there, to give him someone (other than Sam) to talk to. Sure, he talked with the other Avengers, he talked to people; but not really, not in ways that  _ matter _ . 

And Tony? Well, Tony made him feel something he hadn't in a long time; happy. 

There's really no way around it, no matter how hard he tried to convince himself that there was any other explanation… he felt happy around the other man. Sure, it was a bit awkward, and sure it will take a lot of getting used to, but it couldn't be denied. After the initial scares and his nerves settled, he was left with a sense of ease; a sense of calm. It was too easy to be around Tony. 

That notion was a bit troublesome in itself though, wasn't it? Of all people he thought he could feel comfortable around,  _ Tony Stark _ wasn't high on his list of options; Hell, he was so far off the list the letters of his name fell from the page and tumbled into the cracks of the floorboards, never to be seen again. 

And there inlies the root of his earlier trepidation; he was afraid Tony  _ wasn't _ real, that he wouldn't actually be there if he looked. 

What if it was all just sole horribly sick, twisted dream meant to torture him. Give him a splinter of something  _ good _ just to take it away from him. 

He's familiar with that… 

Having his mind race with all these fleeting thoughts wasn't doing him any favours; so he resolved himself to focus back on his task instead; dishes, he was doing dishes;  _ put away the dishes Bucky.  _ Bringing his hands up to lightly slap at his face a few times, he let out a sigh and turned away from the sink; a small strangled noise escaped him and his back stiffened when he did.

_ Tony.  _

He's glad he put that glass back down on the counter or he would have probably smashed it; and he really didn't need to break  _ another _ glass within' the same twenty-four hours. 

"Hey there, Barnes," Tony chuckled, "Didn't mean to scare you." 

Bucky couldn't stop the small smile from erupting on his face, or the wave of pure  _ relief _ he felt upon seeing Tony standing there. With the flood of feelings that just washed over him, he could barely control the emotion on his face; part of him didn't care. 

_ He's still here. Good.  _

"You alright there, Barnes?" Tony questioned with a quirk of his brow. 

"Just fine, Stark," he replied simply. 

"You sure someone didn't spike your drink?" he lilted with a chuckle, "Because I can't imagine that soft, dopey looking smile is for me." 

"Oh? And what if it were?" Bucky asked, head cocked to the side in a playful challenge. 

"Then colour me shocked." 

"It is nice to see ya, Stark. Was beginnin' to think ya disappeared for good," he tried in a humorous tone. He forced the earlier anxious doubt that blanketed him deep down into a dark corner of his mind to rot; Tony was still here, he was  _ real.  _

"Nope!" Tony exclaimed, popping the  _ P, _ "You ain't getting rid of me that easily Barnes." 

"Oh joy," Bucky chuckled. 

"Speaking of not getting rid of me… can I talk to you, preferably in private. Considering, you know, you look like you're talking to yourself in the kitchen right now, I assume?" Tony chimed, bursting into laughter at Bucky's reaction. 

The man looked completely flustered; his brows shooting high over widened eyes as he quickly looked around to see if he's been noticed. It was a perfect mix of mortified and bashful. Apparently the fact that Tony was  _ invisible to everyone else _ must have slipped his mind. Though, maybe a  _ miniscule _ part of Tony felt bad, since it was his fault for starting the conversation in the first place. He could have  _ reminded _ Bucky of their whereabouts, but what would be the fun in that? 

"Sure, Stark. Apologize for laughin' at me and maybe I'll let ya see me in private," he smirked. 

"Well, I  _ could _ do that; but… you know," he started, placing a finger on his chin and peering up as if contemplating something, "Doors don't mean anything to  _ me _ , remember? So I don't think you could stop me anyways," he crooned, a wide, cheeky grin splitting his face.

"Dammit, Stark," he said, but the man's smile was infectious and Bucky found himself returning it with a small one of his own. 

"Sorry, sorry," he said with a chuckle, "By the way, Barnes, you're talking again." 

Bucky's eyes closed and he inhaled a deep, slow breath through his nose; the annoyance in himself was written all over his face. His mumbled, "Dammit," was barely audible. 

A wave of laughter erupted out of Tony, and  _ God, was that the most wonderful sound Bucky's ever heard.  _ His cheerful laughter was the best thing since sliced bread; Bucky wasn't accepting criticism. Even though Stark was teasing him, it still rang out like a symphony to his ears. 

He looked back to Tony and rolled his eyes, shaking his head with a fond smile, "Right, I look crazy, let's go then." He began walking toward his room without waiting for Tony to reply, knowing he would follow. 

"Aye, aye, Captain," Tony singsonged from behind him. 

And there it was, that simple camaraderie, the way their conversations fell together so effortlessly; it was a bit suffocating, to say the least. Why was it so easy?

⤜⤑⤑⋆✩❂✩⋆⬸⬸⤛

As soon as Bucky made it back to his room, he closed the door and turned to his companion, "So, here we are. What did ya wanna talk about?"

Tony looked like he was about to speak, but then no words followed. He simply stared at Bucky with a certain look Bucky couldn't quite place. 

"Stark?" 

"I, uhm… well, I need your help," he asked sheepishly, averting his gaze to look in the direction of the wall.  _ Why was talking to Barnes so hard all of a sudden?  _ He felt like a blanket of dread just cloaked him and covered all the light in the room; he began to doubt ever asking to speak with him at all. 

"My help?" Bucky questioned cocking an eyebrow.  _ What could Tony possibly need his help with? _ Tony appeared to be growing more anxious by the minute; like whatever was wrong he was afraid to ask. Concern began to bubble up inside him. "Are ya alrig-" he started, but Tony sprang into talking, almost like his voice was on a timer and the buzzer had just gone off. It dutily silenced the rest of Bucky's question. 

"I mean, I know that I'm probably the last person you'd want to help, and honestly I don't blame you. Hell, I probably shouldn't even be asking, if I'm being honest; because asking you to do anything for me is just all kinds of fucked up; but I don't know who else to go to, to be honest, I'm… you know what, no. Look, I'm sorry for bothering you, I'll-" 

"Tony!" Bucky called out, and Tony's mouth snapped shut, halting his ramblings. Bucky didn't want to raise his voice, and hoped that even though he did, it didn't sound chastising or angry at all; but Tony seemed to be growing more and more frantic, and honestly it was hard for him to keep up. He just wanted to get Tony to calm down for a second. Bucky wasn't too fond of seeing Tony like that. He enjoyed seeing Tony happy; smiling, _not_ like he was afraid to be in the same room as Bucky. And that thought hurt just a little too much; _he_ _should be afraid of you, he has every right to be. Remember what you did?_

Taking the miserable thoughts which plagued him and shoving them further down into the background of his mind, he met Tony's gaze and offered up a reassuring smile. "I wanna help," he said, trying to convey his sincerity. 

"You… you want to help," Tony repeated while staring dumbfoundedly at Bucky, almost like he couldn't actually believe it. 

"Yes, I do. So please, tell me what ya need?" 

Tony stared at Bucky silently while chewing his lip, appearing to be contemplating what he should say, or if he should even continue the request at all. Eventually, while weeding through all the thoughts firing through his head, something else clicked into the forefront; "You called me Tony." 

_ Shit did I? _ "Oh… uh, yeah, sorry," Bucky said while scratching the back of his neck awkwardly. He felt a little shameful and fixed his eyes on the floor. 

"No, I… I like it," Tony stated, his brown eyes twinkling as he smiled almost bashfully at Bucky. 

And how could Bucky say no to that? Tony looked adorable and Bucky was a weak man. 

"Okay, Tony," Bucky practically whispered, trying it out properly. Honestly it felt a lot more like he was given a gift; "Then I guess you should call me Bucky." 

"Bucky.  _ Bucky.  _ I can do that. No problem, not a problem at all. I love Bucky. Bucky reminds me of horses, horses are nice!"

"Tony," Bucky called out with a huff of a laugh, "You're rambling again." 

Tony's face heated with embarrassment and he tried to hide the dark feelings that pushed into his gut. He's used to being criticized by others, used to being taunted by his thoughts of  _ never being good enough,  _ of making too many mistakes, people eventually leaving  _ because _ of those mistakes, of being chastised for every little thing, being told to  _ do better,  _ to do  _ more. _ These are the thoughts which have plagued him for so long; long enough, you'd think he'd be able to ignore them by now. Easier said than done. 

Pondering over why he was feeling so much trepidation now was like unraveling a mystery, but he eventually figured it out; he was afraid of  _ disappointing Bucky _ . 

_ People don't like it when you ramble, Tony, stop.  _

"Right, I… I'm sorry." 

Tony was met with Bucky's kind smile, "Nothin' to apologize for. I just… you said ya needed my help? Are ya okay?" That earlier concern seeped back into his voice. 

Tony's eyes lit up with relief, and he couldn't help but smile back at the man in front of him. He thought for sure he had upset Bucky, but he was elated to find that he didn't. 

"Yes, that!" Tony chirped brightly, "I want to come back, and I need help to do it!" 

"Come back? Like, to life? Like a zombie?" 

"I'm not  _ dead,  _ Bucky, I've already told you that," he scoffed out a tiny amused little laugh, "But yes, if that's how you want to put it. I want you to help bring me back to life." 

"Okay…" bucky drawled out, he was confused, but he was trying; "How am I supposed to do that?" 

"Well, I don't know yet. That's part of what I need your help with." 

"I'm… not quite sure how I'll manage; I ain't a genius like you, and I definitely ain't no Dr. Frankenstein." 

That brought a chuckle out of Tony. 

After a short pause, Bucky continued, still trying to gather all the details in hopes to understand at least  _ some _ shred of what Tony was saying, "You said bring ya  _ back _ , right? But you're not dead, not a ghost. So… bring ya back from where, exactly?" 

"Ding, ding, ding! That's the correct question!" Tony chimed. 

"Didn't know we were playin' a game," he smirked. 

"It's all the game of life, my dear Buckster," Tony singsonged, "But yes,  _ where _ exactly!" 

Bucky went and sat down on his bed, he had a feeling he wouldn't want to be standing for this. His attention stayed on Tony and he sat in attention, waiting for the man to continue. 

"So, when I used the stones, my physical body died, or that's at least what it appeared to all of you; but in reality, I was… sucked somewhere else; or at least my spirit was. But this… place, it's… it's the same as it is for you. I think I'm stuck somewhere that is here, but also isn't. I think I was split in two; Hell, maybe I was cloned. To be honest, there's no clear way to tell, but I  _ am _ here, and I'm alive. I'm certain. This is all way too real to be anything else."

"So, you're not a ghost, or a hallucination from my tattered psyche; I guess we can scratch those off the list," Bucky said with a faint chuckle, "Ya just appeared here at random, then?" 

"That is correct, yes," Tony agreed, "Two years for you, two minutes for me. Though there's no telling if I wasn't actually in some kind of stasis and just unaware of the passage of time."

"So, you're here, but you're not  _ here, _ here. You're in a… world between worlds, of sorts?" 

"Yes, like, say it's similar to another dimension, but it's still connected to the same plane as the one you're in; which would explain why I can see, hear, and smell everything you can. I just can't physically interact with anything because my  _ body _ isn't actually here. If I can find a way to cross over, I should be able to come back to my  _ own _ dimension; back home."

"But how does that…" Bucky hesitated, trying to focus his thoughts; this was a lot to take in, after all, "How does that explain your body  _ here? _ I mean, we buried ya, Tony. I was at your funeral." 

"Yeah, about that… I'm not one-hundred percent sure, if I'm being honest. Without testing and running a proper analysis, I wouldn't be able to answer that; but I know I'm real. I have a physical form here… wherever  _ here _ is." 

"And ya think there's a way to bring ya back," Bucky stated more than asked. 

"I have to hope that there is. It's worth a shot, don't you think?" 

"Yes, of course!" Bucky was quick to answer, "of course it is, I just…" 

"What if it doesn't work?" Tony finished for him. 

Bucky turned his gaze to the floor instead of Tony's, swallowing thickly, his body language reeking of apprehension; like he was ashamed for thinking it in the first place. When he chanced a glance back at Tony, his eyes looked timorous, and even a little sad.

His silence was answer enough. 

"That's why I don't want to tell anyone else. Don't want to get their hopes up, you know?" 

"Yeah," Bucky basically choked out. His voice was way more strained than he intended; but the thought of Tony trying hard to find a way back, only to have it not work out in the end… it was depressing, to say the least. 

"Cheer up, Buckercup; we'll figure it out," Tony comforted, not letting on that he was feeling much of the same. He's gone through the what if's and could be's countless times before, and all it did was leave him with a storm raging inside; bitter and cold, relentless and without heart. He choked that storm down and forced it away for even the smallest shred of hope to blossom; he had to. 

"Yeah, we will," Bucky agreed with a small, weak smile. He didn't comment on the nickname; but it didn't elicit an unwelcome emotion; just the opposite, in fact. It made him feel warm, which was appreciated after that whole conversation. 

A blanket of quiet surrounded them as they sat in each other's welcomed company. It seemed almost tranquil; probably to someone on the outside looking in, anyways. All that was going through both of their heads were racing thoughts and piles of questions lacking answers. Bucky kept circling back around to one question in particular, so he dared ask. 

"Hey, Tony?" he called, pulling the man's focus back to himself. 

"Yeah, Buckaroo; what is it?" 

"I'm… all of this makes sense, as much as it's goin' to, I guess; but… how come I can see ya? Especially if no one else can. I just, I don't understand." 

Tony looked contemplative for a moment before responding, "I don't really have an answer for that." His mouth pinched together with an apologetic frown. "Maybe you're the chosen one and you're super strong with the force? You're secretly a Hobbit and are in need of a great adventure? You're ready to go to Hogwarts? The universe works in mysterious ways," he said with a shrug. 

"Okay, I'm not a Jedi, Tony; nor do I got a ring to destroy," he uttered with an accompanying eye roll, "And if the  _ universe _ is choosin' someone to help ya, why me?" Bucky asked, head shaking in disbelief. "As much as I wanna help, I don't understand why you'd appear to me; especially when there are a few good options I could think of who're better suited for it. Not only because of our history," he stated, that faint look of guilt threatening to crack through the surface of his composure, "But, they  _ know _ you. I hardly know ya at all." 

"The universe has a sick sense of humor?" he tossed out. Bucky was right, almost anyone would have been a better option, and Tony hated that. He hated that they never really had the time to reconcile; because  _ this _ ? How they were now? It was good,  _ so good _ ; and it happened  _ easily _ . Tony's a little bitter that they never had the chance before. 

"Maybe," was all Bucky said in response. 

"Also, how do you know you're not super force sensitive?" 

"Tony." 

"You're a supersoldier after all, super force sensitivity could be a thing," he said, waving his hands around as he talked. 

"I'm not force sensitive," he deadpanned, but the large, amused smile that broke out onto his face only seconds after said otherwise. Shaking his head from side to side, he shifted his gaze back to Tony. He was smiling brightly back at him with those gorgeous, brown doe eyes Bucky has grown very fond of.  _ Too fond _ , he reminds himself. It caused something to shift inside him, and not for the first time; he felt his heart beat incorrectly. A feeling of warmth covered him, like he'd been unknowingly coated in a glaze of ice for years and has just started to thaw. It made him feel at ease and uncomfortable all at once. 

"I don't know, I still think it would be cooler to just say You're a Jedi Master," Tony quipped, firmly pulling Bucky back to the present; and  _ not _ on how  _ good _ he feels with Tony, or how much he prefers the man's smile over anything. Seriously, if he could choose to see the beauty of the sunset every day, or Tony's smile, he knows which he'd prefer. Or about how the man's laughter, his genuine laughter was vivacious enough to fracture all the sadness inside of him.

_ Bucky what the Hell are ya doin'?! _ he berated himself; in horror over his own thoughts. The earlier warmth turned into a heat that crawled its way up his neck and threatened to take over the entirety of his face. It was shameful, to say the least, and honestly, quite embarrassing. He really didn't need his brain to start  _ waxing poetic _ about Tony every time the man smiled; this is ridiculous.

In fear over what he might say, he decided to take a simpler route and give in to Tony's previous statement, "Okay, then sure, I'm a Jedi." 

Tony beamed at his response, so it was worth it. 

He sends his gratitude to the universe and all the Gods that he didn't accidentally blurt something else out, because if he had said any other potentially sappy --  _ no, it's not a crush, shut up!-- _ , shit, he'd hope to simply die on the spot instead of having to deal with the embarrassment that followed; thank you very much. 

"Thank you, Bucky," Tony then said, looking several sorts of sincere and resigned, and that just made something else churn inside of Bucky. Something that hurt in a bittersweet kind of way, but made him feel worthy at the same time. 

"You're welcome, but why do I sense something else is about to happen?" 

"Nothing bad," Tony chuckled, "But I have to leave for a little while. I promise I'll be back, there's just some things I have to check on. I would keep you posted, but… can't really use a phone in my current state." 

"Oh, okay. Well, good luck doin' whatever it is you're doin'," Bucky said, ignoring the twinge of  _ hurt _ he felt, and the fear of  _ what if he never comes back.  _

"Thank you," Tony said with a nod, before turning and walking from the room. 

Bucky watched his back as he left through the door, honestly, it was foolish for Bucky to feel this attached to Tony already; at all, even, but he was. He enjoyed the man's company, even if he was insufferable at times, and now he'd have to go without it. Well, absence makes the heart grow fonder, or whatever it is they say. Maybe Tony will like him more when he gets back. 

_ Do I even want that? _ Bucky all of a sudden felt like he needed a hundred year nap, if only to ignore his treacherous thoughts. 

So he fell asleep with Tony on his mind, not for the first time. 

⤜⤑⤑⋆✩❂✩⋆⬸⬸⤛

Bucky went a couple days without worrying too much. Sure, he found his mind traveling back to Tony countless times throughout the days,  _ sure _ … that wasn't exactly an issue. The problem came from Sam and the others noticing his lack of focus lately. He had to pull himself together, if not for himself, then for his  _ team.  _ It wouldn't do anyone any good to have him make a mistake because he was too busy thinking about other things to pay attention. He clamped down on the concern and shoved it to the side; Tony was smart, he would be  _ fine;  _ but after another week had passed, the worry he'd been forcing away had crawled right back up to the top. He had no way of telling where Tony was, or if he was even safe! He latched onto the knowledge that nothing from this dimension could hurt Tony with a steel grip; that would have to be enough to keep him calm. 

They'd finished up their training regime for the day; Rhodey had run them through the ringer so hard this time that even Bucky, with his supersoldier stamina, was feeling the effects. There was a nice, soft, comfy bed with Bucky's name on it calling to him; so he headed back to his room. There wasn't any other Avengers related things they had to do today anyways. It  _ was _ their monthly scheduled movie night, but Bucky wasn't feeling up to pretending to enjoy their company. Not that he  _ didn't _ enjoy their company; rather, today he just wasn't feeling up to it. 

The movie night wasn't set to start for another two hours though… maybe he would still go. 

All his ponderings of what to do and what not to do were derailed to a complete halt when he opened his bedroom door, however. He nearly choked on the water he had just taken a drink of. 

"Hey, Buckaroo!" Tony singsonged, turning a wide grin toward Bucky as soon as he heard the man enter. 

A strangled noise escaped Bucky, if he'd tried to speak, all the water he  _ wasn't _ choking on would have dribbled onto the floor anyways. It was a pitiful sound; terribly embarrassing. He finally swallowed and inhaled a deep breath before practically yipping the man's name out in surprise. 

"Tony!" 

Tony laughed and shot another smile, but something seemed off about it. Bucky noticed instantly; even though he was laughing and smiling, it didn't meet his eyes. He didn't like it. 

Bucky took a couple slow steps into the room and closed the door. "You alright?" he asked in a hushed tone, his concern evident. 

"Yeah, I'm alright," Tony assured, giving another half hearted smile.

"Ya don't look it," Bucky mumbled, crossing the room to stand next to the other man. 

"Just had a rough few days, that's all. Don't worry though, I'll be fine, I always am." 

Bucky just discovered a newfound hatred for Tony's lack of physical form. What he wouldn't give to be able to touch him now; even something as simple as a gentle squeeze to the man's hand in comfort. Placating someone without a body was difficult, especially since Bucky has never really had a way with words. Maybe he had  _ before _ , but now? He's different, and emotional things weren't his area of expertise. It was especially hard with the fact he didn't even know what was bothering Tony in the first place. He needed to try though. 

Pulling some memories from his therapy sessions to the forefront, he asked, "Do you wanna talk about it?" being sure to give Tony a  _ choice _ in the matter. 

Tony seemed unsure whether he wanted to; staring searchingly at Bucky while weighing his options; eventually he spoke, "I went to see Rhodey… and Pep," he said before trailing off. He looked broken, but resigned. 

_ Shit! I didn't even think to tell him about his family. Great goin', Bucky, ya damn idiot!  _ he internally scolded. 

"I'm sorry, Tony! I…" 

"No, no," Tony waved him off, "It's… it's fine. I went to them because I was curious if they could see me too, mostly. No dice. That being said, it isn't like I could just expect nobody to move on. It's been two years, you said that. I died, remember?" 

"But you're  _ not _ dead!" Bucky exclaimed. 

"They don't know that," Tony intoned softly, his lips upturning just so, nearly unnoticeable if you weren't close enough to see. He was calm and accepting, and Bucky thought that was the most coldhearted thing the universe ever did. To create someone so kind, caring, and patient; someone who could  _ understand _ and sympathize  _ so much _ , and thrust him into an uncaring world full of pain and heartbreak. 

Bucky was seriously debating throwing down a few rounds with the powers that be. If only he knew how to  _ find _ them. 

"They love ya, Tony, you know that, right?" Bucky spoke tenderly, barely above a whisper.

Bucky's eyes held so much sincerity within them, it made Tony's chest tighten. He may not have known Bucky all that long, and their pasts never paved room for them to try, but while peering back into the man's blue eyes, all but pleading with Tony to understand, he knew there was  _ so much goodness _ in him. You didn't need to know him long to see that; he was caring, and kind. Tony nearly got lost under the man's gaze before he remembered he should actually respond. 

"I know, Buckaroo," he stated with a somber smile, but it reached his eyes enough to ease Bucky's turmoil, as the man visibly relaxed slightly. Tony hadn't even noticed how tightly wound up the man was before then. "I'm happy for them, too, you know? I'm glad they've moved on. I saw them, they looked… well." 

"Yeah," Bucky agreed, looking down. He still felt terrible, but was at a loss for where to go from there; so he didn't say anything more. A silence befell them that Bucky wasn't fond of; it was almost as if a melancholic smog seeped into the room and latched onto his throat, clamping down on his remaining happiness and stopping it entirely. 

Tony must have been on the same wavelength, because he spoke first to destroy the silence, "Is that Harry Potter?" he asked, looking over toward where a stack of books and a few other assorted items lay on Bucky's nightstand. 

Following his line of sight, Bucky responded, "Oh, uhm, yes? Why do ya ask?" 

"How do you like it? I love the Harry Potter books. The movies, too; but I think the books are better." 

"I haven't started readin' it yet, actually. Uh, Peter gave it to me, said I should." He wasn't sure if mentioning Peter was in his best interests, considering Tony's current state; but it didn't seem to phase the man at all negatively. 

"Oh, I see," Tony acknowledged, "You definitely should, they're great." Silence threatened to smother them once more. The feeling in the room was still rather awkward, and Tony was trying hard to get them back to their lighthearted banter; but not really knowing what to say made that difficult. Bucky must have been feeling much the same. "I haven't actually read them in quite a while, especially the first few," he said, walking over to the bedside table and running his fingers down the spines of the book stack. His finger went through the books, though; being as he was unable to touch them; but they flickered, almost like data glitching, "But… yeah." 

Bucky took a second to look at the stack of books again, he  _ did _ have the first one readily available. Tilting his head to the side, he got an idea; pondering it over only briefly before deciding to take a stab at it; the worst that could happen is Tony saying  _ no.  _ "Would… would ya like me to read it to ya?" 

Tony's head whipped to the side, eyes wide with surprise. His eyes met Bucky's as if he was searching for whether the man was serious or not, "You… you would do that? I mean, you want to; that is?" A small blush began to crawl its way onto his face. He honestly was not expecting Bucky to offer to  _ read to him.  _ Is that weird? He's a grown man. Who cares. 

"Yeah, I mean, if ya wanted?" Bucky uttered, feeling shy all of a sudden. 

"Okay, yeah. Yeah, I would like that," Tony replied, the thin line of his mouth turning up in delight. 

Tony's eyes nearly twinkled, and Bucky's chest swelled with satisfaction that his offer gave some joy back to the man. Being graced with Tony's gratitude and genuine happiness is quickly moving to the top of his list of favourite things. He'll be sure to thank Peter the next time he sees the kid. 

⤜⤑⤑⋆✩❂✩⋆⬸⬸⤛

Bucky curled up on his bed with his back to the wall;  _ Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone  _ in hand. He looked to Tony for the okay to begin, and Tony smiled in assurance back at him; so he opened to the first page and started reading aloud, 

_ "Mr. and Mrs. Dursley, of number four, Privet Drive, were proud to say that they were perfectly normal, thank you very much. They were…"  _

Tony moved his foot through Bucky's bed from where he was standing, watching as his skin almost seemed to quiver. It felt… odd. He narrowed his eyes at it, but decided to file that thought for later in lieu of plopping down onto the floor and peering up at Bucky. He let the man's smoothe baritone wash over him and became immersed in the story, like he had all those years before when he'd first read it. 

Bucky's voice should be considered a national treasure, Tony thought; and he read like an angel. Occasionally, he would stop reading and ask Tony to explain certain things to him if he didn't understand it, not that Tony minded in the least. He was happy to help, and even more elated when Bucky would grace him with a warm smile and his appreciation. Honestly, Tony was completely delighted just knowing that Bucky was comfortable with him at all, so much so that he was practically glowing. Imagining what  _ could _ have been, how terrible their relationship could have turned out considering their pasts; well, those were better left unthought. He was much more pleased with things as they are now; and he could listen to Bucky read to him for the rest of his life, he's sure of it. 

It was just then that the reality of his thoughts actually sunk in, and his heart gave a distinct flutter before beating faster because of them. 

_ What was he doing? Thinking of Bucky like he was his sun and moon, and all his stars?  _

_ That was utterly ridiculous.  _

Tony promptly forced everything out of his mind and focused back on Bucky's reading, only to come to the conclusion that he hadn't been paying attention to the words at all! He was apparently too busy traipsing around  _ La La Land _ and thinking about sweet nothings. Good going, Tony, mortified by your own thoughts! Tony's just hoped his face wasn't lit up like a fire hydrant, because it sure  _ felt _ warm. 

As if noticing Tony's inner anguish, Bucky stopped mid-sentence and looked over toward his companion. "Everything alright?" he quipped, cocking a brow and offering a lopsided grin. 

"What? Oh! Yeah, good as gold, Buckaroni!" he yipped; but Bucky had already noticed Tony's mind had been elsewhere. 

Bucky chuckled in amusement at the nickname. They were getting more and more  _ fruitful _ , not that Bucky  _ minded _ . Getting a nickname from Tony was like being blessed from the Gods; and he would preen over the fact that he'd gotten so many if he wouldn't appear insane to everyone else. Since, there's  _ no way _ he could even be  _ talking _ to Tony. 

You know, because he's  _ dead. _

Tony would come back one day, and then he would show them! He'll go straight up peacock through the house and boast it in every room! ...okay, he probably  _ wouldn't _ do that, but it's the thought that counts, right? 

"You sure? Ya wanna talk about it?" he asked. 

"No, no I'm fine. Please, continue," Tony urged, inching forward with a bright eyed smile. 

Bucky couldn't help but smile back, but he continued just as was requested; inwardly shaking his head at  _ himself _ after noticing how simple it was for Tony to coax him into doing things; at how  _ willing _ he was to do them. It should have came as more of a shock, really, but he's beginning to find that when it comes to Tony, anything is possible. 

He flitted his gaze back to Tony from time to time, to study the man's reactions. He was never disappointed. Tony was enamored by the readings, smiling wide when Bucky looked at him. The man's smile beamed with the light of a thousand suns, bright and warm; and Bucky had been cold for so long. He shouldn't fault himself for wanting;  _ needing _ , to soak it up; and knowing that Tony smiled that way for  _ him?  _ That made it all the better. He could stare into those beautiful, whiskey brown doe eyes for the rest of his life and never lose interest, he's sure of it. 

_ What are ya doin'?!  _ Bucky basically shrieked at himself.  _ Stop fawnin' over the man like he's the answer to your prayers and read the damn book!  _

Bucky was horribly mortified at himself for thinking like that, because that is very  _ wrong.  _ He definitely needed to take his imagination back down a peg or two;  _ Think cold thoughts, Bucky, not warm like Tony's gorgeous smile. _ He hoped his face wasn't as bright red as he assumed it might be; based on the racing of his poor heart. Nothing like singing praises over someone you probably shouldn't to get your blood pumping.

Tony noticed, but he didn't comment. 

Bucky concentrated back on the book, continuing to read for awhile. Tony seemed to be enjoying it, so he didn't wish to stop; but he was feeling a little groggy now and couldn't stop the jaw-cracking yawn that escaped him. 

"Do you want to stop?" Tony asked. 

"No, I can keep goin', just gonna get more comfortable," he mumbled before sliding down and plopping onto the bed and rolling to his side. Picking up the book again, he continued to read; but Tony could tell by the man's voice that he was more tired than he let on; he didn't say anything, however, and let the man keep at it.

Bucky had been nodding on and off for the last ten minutes of his reading, Tony trying to convince him to just go to bed all the while. He eventually fell asleep, book still in hand. Tony wished he could touch things here, if only to put the book away and  _ maybe _ pull the blankets up and tuck them tighter around Bucky. He watched the man sleep for a few moments, noticing how peaceful he appeared; that the creases on his face had evened out. He hadn't realized how tightly wound Bucky kept himself until he saw him without. He smiled tenderly at the sleeping man, but made himself look away right after before it bordered on creepy. 

_ Bucky was everything and more, and he deserved much the same.  _

A light knock on the door ripped Tony from his musings. Someone called out to see if he wanted to come watch the movie, but left shortly after not receiving an answer. After shooting one last glance at Bucky, Tony decided that  _ he _ would go watch the movie in his stead. No one would see him anyways, and he had to admit, he was a little curious to see how the team was fairing these days. 

⤜⤑⤑⋆✩❂✩⋆⬸⬸⤛

The next time Bucky saw Tony, the man was in the kitchen running his hand over the table; he had an odd look on his face. 

"What are ya doin'?" he asked.

"Nothing, just… thinking," Tony replied, looking up to send Bucky a smile, "Good morning." 

"'Mornin'," he replied with a grin of his own. He didn't remember actively falling asleep, so he's glad he could at least give Tony a proper morning greeting. 

"You here for a snack?" 

"Yeah, but I ain't sure what to make. I already ate breakfast an hour ago, but it was leftover from the team breakfast I apparently slept through," Bucky stated with a laugh, "I just thought it might be nice to make somethin' for 'em, since they usually cook for me, ya know?" 

"Oh, like a dessert!" This piqued Tony's interests, he loved sweets. 

"Yeah, it could be a dessert," Bucky said contemplatively, "But what should I make? It can't be somethin' as simple as a cake… that wouldn't be big enough for everyone." 

"How simple of a recipe do you want? Because I know my way around some sweets," Tony beamed. 

"Fairly simple," he said with a huffed laugh, "I haven't actually baked much, and I ain't no expert. I  _ am _ sweet though," he followed up with a wink. Tony's bark of gleeful laughter caused Bucky's brows to shoot up and his mouth to drop open; he was both amused and appalled. "Are ya sayin' I'm not?" he added in jest. 

"I don't know,  _ are you?" _ Tony lilted facetiously. 

"You're a demon," Bucky joked, a single puff of air wafting out in a humorous snort. 

"Maybe so," Tony crowed back, "What about a classic? Chocolate chip cookies. Everyone likes those." 

"I don't." 

"Preposterous!" Tony shrieked, "Absolutely dastardly!" 

Bucky's outcry of laughter at Tony's dramatics had him clamping his hand over his mouth; shooting a scowl toward Tony as if it were  _ his _ fault. Though technically, you could say it was. There wasn't any heat behind it though, and Tony snickered at the sight of Bucky's furrowed brows, and his metal hand covering his mouth as he tried not to be too loud. 

They  _ were _ in a public area after all. 

After Bucky composed himself, Tony tried again, "What about… muffins? Maybe red velvet?" 

"That sounds… nice?" Bucky agreed. 

"They are! I love red velvet cake, especially if they're muffins!" He chirped enthusiastically, "I used to eat them all the time. They smell really nice while baking, too." 

"Well, then it's settled. I'm makin' that." 

"Great! I may not be able to eat them, which is, honestly, such a shame, because I have zero doubt in your ability to make a wickedly delicious dessert; but at least I can smell it!" 

"You've got too much faith in me. This is gonna be a disaster," he deadpanned, "But when ya come back, I'll be sure to make ya some."

"Nonsense, Buckercup; you'll see! And I would like that." 

They spent the next two hours in the kitchen together; Bucky minding not to speak too loudly in case someone overheard. Eventually, he turned some music on, per Tony's request, to help mask the sound. It was smart, actually, Bucky expected nothing else from the genius. Even though he wasn't a big fan of lying, he could at least play that he was singing along to the words if someone questioned why he was talking with no one else in the room. 

When they were finished, Bucky had enough time to try one before he was called away by Sam for an Avengers meeting. 

Tony was right, the cupcakes were perfect and delicious. 

Tony basked in their delightful scent. 

When Bucky arrived back at his room, Tony wasn't there. He spent a decent amount of time searching for the man with no luck. He was only moderately ashamed of how heartsick that made him. 

He stayed up in hopes that Tony would come back; sooner or later he had to, right? 

Losing his battle with The Sandman, sleep inevitably took hold of him and shoved him into a deep slumber.

⤜⤑⤑⋆✩❂✩⋆⬸⬸⤛

Bucky stirred awake with the feeling of not being alone, only this time it wasn't unpleasant. 

"Look, I'd really appreciate it if you'd stop hauntin' my dreams," Bucky rasped, voice still thick with sleep. His eyes remained closed, but he knew Tony would be looking at him now, and his lips lilted up in a one-sided smirk.

"I'm not  _ haunting _ you, Buckaroo, or your dreams," Tony all but singsonged. 

"Sure, then what exactly do ya call this? Is this a punishment? Maybe  _ I'm  _ the one who died and this is my Hell," he quipped, cracking one eye open to peer at Tony. 

"That isn't very  _ sweet _ of you, now is it?" Tony snarked, "You know I'm only here because I love to pester you before breakfast," he said with a wink. 

"Lucky me," Bucky deadpanned, using all the restraint he had to force the grin threatening to break his resolve away.

"I would consider you lucky, I'm a damn treasure." 

Bucky scoffed, gracing Tony with a barely noticeable flicker of a smile, and an eye roll to match. 

They stared at each other in comfortable silence for a few moments; moments that felt a lot like hours inside Bucky's mind. He felt his heart flutter, just briefly, and made another note to never think about  _ why _ . 

They held each other's gaze and it was beginning to make Bucky feel jittery; he couldn't quite place it. They'd been getting along so well, his fleeting nerves didn't make much sense at all; but peering into the ghost of Tony's eyes felt too much like laying himself bare; as if Tony could see into the deepest parts of him and  _ know _ . Know what? Bucky wasn't even sure of himself. 

"You know," Tony announced, cutting through the growing silence, almost as if he could feel the unease lurking just along the edges of the room and knowing exactly how to appease it, "You look pretty cute when you're sleeping." 

Bucky's face grew hot instantly with a red flush of embarrassment; his mind mimicked the scream of a tea kettle. Without a further thought, he whipped a pillow at Tony, but it simply phased through him, causing Tony's form to quiver and flicker in and out like a hologram. It hit the wall with a soft thud before falling to the floor. 

Tony was laughing. 

_ God, happiness looks gorgeous on him,  _ Bucky pondered, and the thought only caused the earlier heat which ambushed his face to become hotter. 

And that is how Bucky Barnes died; heavily embarrassed by a man he never thought he'd know, but beyond happy he had the pleasure to meet. A man who never ceases to cause his heart to run gallant inside his chest. A man who Bucky definitely did not have the hots for, nope,  _ not at all.  _

"Great, I'm gonna die of shame and the last thing I'll hear is ya laughin' at me."

"I don't think shame is what they call that,  _ Buckaboo," _ Tony crooned, adding extra emphasis on the nickname. 

"Euugh!" Bucky groaned, cheeks reddening to a much darker shade, if that were even possible. It was way too damn early to deal with Tony's flirty antics, way too early! Tossing his blankets onto the floor, he got up and firmly strutted out the door; Tony's delighted laughter followed him as he walked off. 

⤜⤑⤑⋆✩❂✩⋆⬸⬸⤛

This went on for a few weeks, twenty-three days, to be exact; this…  _ thing _ between them. A thing that neither of them discussed, and both of them scolded themselves for every time they thought about it. 

None of that mattered though; what  _ mattered _ was that, despite everything they tried, and all the possibilities they could think of; they were nowhere closer to finding a way to bring Tony back. Tony was all out of options, and there was only so much he and Bucky could accomplish alone; especially when he wasn't physically there or able to use the technology himself. Besides, the sneaking around was starting to weigh on Bucky; the man didn't have to say anything for Tony to notice. 

"I think we need to call the wizard," Tony announced, from behind Bucky, causing the man to start and nearly choke on his toothbrush. "Sorry, didn't mean to sneak up on you," he chuckled. 

"Wizard?" Bucky mumbled through the corner of his mouth, trying not to drool toothpaste down his chin. He arched an eyebrow to further indicate that he didn't follow. 

"The doc. Strange. Mystical wizard. Modern day Dumbledoor," he stated while Bucky spit into the sink and rinsed his mouth out. 

"Oh, him," he replied, wiping his face on a towel before continuing, "Why? He got a spellbook or somethin'?" 

Tony genuinely couldn't tell if Bucky was joking or not, but the corner of his lips upturned in a smirk at his words regardless, "You watch too many movies, freezy pop." 

"Or read too many books," he agreed with a grin. 

"Yes, that too. Though, one could argue that you can  _ never _ read too many books," Tony tossed back. 

"One could argue that ya can never watch too many movies." 

"Touché. Alright, you win this round; I'll forfeit." 

Bucky laughed at that and it was music to Tony's ears. 

"Alright, so, call the wizard. What for? Can he help?" Bucky then asked. 

"I'm not sure, but he's smart, could be useful? Honestly, I think we've been going about this entirely the wrong way." 

"Yeah?" 

"Yeah. We've been spending all our time focusing on finding a way to build some form of technology to bring me back… I thought if we tweaked my formula for Quantum Realm travel, we could figure it out. You've been great, by the way; at the tech stuff. It's honorable, really; very hot, makes all the girls swoon," 

"Tony!" Bucky called out through his laughter, "You're babblin' again, try to focus? This sounds important." 

"Well, one could argue that  _ you _ are important and deserve all the praise," he mumbled in a mock pout. Satisfied with the amused eyeroll and scoff Bucky sent him, he continued, "I can't believe I'm saying this, but what if it isn't the key here? Science, that is. What if it's something more… supernatural," Tony said and purposefully shuddered. 

"Hmm, that makes sense," Bucky agreed, "As much sense as any of it  _ can,  _ anyways. I've given up bein' surprised by weird things long ago… mostly, anyways," he said, flicking a specific look at Tony to indicate that  _ Tony himself _ was something of a surprise. "So, we call Strange, that's simple. I'm sure Sam has his number, or I can ask the colonel." 

"Sounds great." 

⤜⤑⤑⋆✩❂✩⋆⬸⬸⤛

A few hours later, Strange arrived and Bucky ushered him into his room. The feeling of unease about having someone else in  _ his _ personal space was threatening, but he clamped down on it as he wasn't sure of anywhere else private enough to go; and this was for  _ Tony,  _ after all, so he would _ deal.  _

"Okay, I'm here; what was so urgent you couldn't speak with me over the phone?" 

"It's Tony," he stated matter of factly. 

Strange's eyes darkened just the faintest bit at the mention. "Explain," he all but demanded. 

Bucky looked toward Tony for guidance, and Tony nodded in encouragement and told him he was doing fine. "He's… here, with me. I mean, I can see him, he's over there!" Bucky nearly stuttered, face heating with whatever embarrassment and boatloads of other humiliating words decided to assault him. He wasn't even sure everything he felt, his thoughts beginning to speed again, but he felt  _ warm _ , and it wasn't exactly pleasant. 

Strange fixed him with a _look_ and it only proceeded to make Bucky feel _worse._ How was he supposed to get the doctor to _believe_ _him_ when what he was trying to convince the man of was absolutely absurd?! 

"I don't find that particularly funny, Barnes," he chided. 

"No, I know! It ain't funny, but it's true. He, uh, he asked me to call ya, for help?" 

"Well," Strange began, a miffed glint in his eyes, "You've got three seconds to show me proof or I'm out of here," he scoffed. It was easy to see that Bucky wasn't believed by a long shot. 

"Tell him he sacrificed the time stone for me on Titan, you weren't there, so that should work," Tony offered. 

Bucky repeated Tony's words and Strange practically snorted, "Everyone knows that. Try again." 

"Okaaayyyy," Tony drawled out, "Try… this." 

Bucky listened and repeated what he was saying to Strange as Tony went, "He says that… he saved ya from Squidward when he tried turnin' ya into Hellraiser… Hellraiser, Tony?  _ Really _ ?" he challenged, face contorted into a confused scowl at the wall;  _ at Tony,  _ not that it appeared that way to Strange. 

"What?!" Tony squawked, "He was going to make him a kabob!" 

"A kabob?!" Bucky barked back. 

"Yeah, and Peter and I saved him… along with the wizard's magic carpet." 

"Magic carpet?!" Bucky cried out in bewilderment.

They'd become so enraptured with their bickering they seemed to have forgotten the doctor was even in the room. He listened to it long enough, smirking humorously at the spectacle as he was only able to hear Bucky's side; but his mind could dutily fill in Tony's words. Something sarcastic, he's sure. 

Clearing his throat loudly to regain their attention, he began again, "Okay, I'm intrigued. You've either completely lost your head… or you're telling the truth. Let's say I believe you, what do you need  _ my _ help with?" 

Tony and Bucky looked at each other, then back to Strange like the answer to that question was obvious, before Bucky replied, "To bring him back, of course." 

"Back," Strange uttered dispassionately, "Like, from the dead?" 

"That's the thing! He isn't dead," Bucky exclaimed before taking Strange down the trail of the last month he and Tony spent together. Well, he definitely left out  _ some _ details… 

After Strange established that he wholly believed what Bucky was saying, he offered his services in full. Indicating that he would have to go back to the Sanctum to gather further information. 

He agreed that it was in everyone's best interest to keep the whole thing secret, at least until they found out more; promising not to tell anyone else except for Wong, who he would need to aid him in his studies. 

He was about to leave, but something else piqued his curiosity; a factor that didn't quite make sense:  _ Bucky.  _

He studied the man in question, gazing at him with scrutiny. Tony noticed, and Bucky followed his line of sight back to Strange. The intensity in the doctor's eyes nearly sent a chill down his spine; it unnerved him, anyways. 

"Was there somethin' else, Doc?" Bucky questioned. 

"How are you able to see him?" he pressed. 

"I… I don't know. I just woke up one day and he was there." 

"Were you closest to him when he used the stones?" Strange inquired. 

"I doubt it." 

"Perhaps his spirit traversed through your body as he was sucked to the other dimension?" 

"Weird," both Tony and Bucky declared in unison. 

"Do you, perchance, remember feeling anything  _ strange _ when it happened? When Tony had died?" 

"Uhh… yeah, kinda sad," he quipped sarcastically, but the stern look on the doctors face called for a legitimate answer; so he continued, "I'm not sure, really. It was over two years ago, I was fatigued from fightin' actual, honest to God  _ aliens,  _ and I had literally just came back from the dead. How am I supposed to remember?" 

"Alright, calm down," Strange scoffed, though there was a present jauntiness to it that put Bucky a little more at ease. 

Bucky delayed for a second, mulling over whether he wanted to mention his dreams or not; but ultimately decided that if it could potentially help them in the long scheme of things; then it was necessary, "I have been dreamin' about him a lot though." 

"Oh  _ have _ you now?" Tony crooned, wiggling his brows at him. 

"Shut up," he muttered in retaliation, "I don't mean recently, I meant before; before he came back." 

"Interesting," was all Strange offered, scratching his chin; eyes narrowed in deep thought. 

"Does that mean anything?" 

"Hard to say." 

"Can you tell him something for me, Buckaroo?" Tony requested. Upon receiving the man's affirmation, he continued, "Tell him that… when I first got here, I was very similar to a ghost; but the longer I've been here, the more I can interact with the world. Well, in a sense. I'm still trying to figure it out." 

"What!? Tony, are ya serious? What does that mean? Why didn't ya say anything sooner!?" Bucky assaulted him with eager questions.

"Calm down, winter wonder; tell Gandalf first, answers later," he chuckled in a hushed tone. 

Bucky did as he was told, letting Strange know everything Tony had mentioned, as well as being their go between again for another long winded conversation. At least he got his answers along the way. 

"Thank you, Barnes; I must go now, I have much to think about. I will be in touch." He stood and nodded at them, quickly disappearing through a portal and returning to the sanctum just as quickly without waiting for their goodbyes. 

⤜⤑⤑⋆✩❂✩⋆⬸⬸⤛

A few more days had passed and there was still no word from Strange. Tony clamped down on the anxiety he felt over the wait.  _ Why hasn't he found anything yet? Did he give up? Maybe there  _ isn't _ a way to bring me back! No, Tony, have faith; calm down!  _

He knew these things took time; and time may be all he has right now. So he would wait. 

It didn't help that he wasn't feeling to high spirited that day already  _ anyways _ . He'd gone back to his old home again, to see Pepper and Morgan. She had started seeing someone, he seemed nice; kind. Morgan seemed to be fond of him, too. Happy and his Rhodey Bear were also there. 

Honestly, he  _ was _ happy for them. He wasn't jealous, or angry in any way, it was more of a deep rooted hopelessness that lingered overhead. Watching his family all bond together was bittersweet, to say the least. It left him feeling warmed to the core, seeing them so happy; but chilled and despondent purely for the fact that he couldn't  _ be there _ with them.

He found himself looking at Pepper's new partner, Mark, they called him; and he was astounded to find that he approved of the man. That he felt no animosity at all toward him. Pepper looked happy, and he knew if this Mark guy was a deadbeat and didn't treat her like every ounce of gold she was... that she would definitely kick his ass. Not even needing to include how absolutely destroyed he would be by the rest of them, too. 

He exhaled a small huff from his nose, smiling at them before turning away and heading back for the compound. At least he'd discovered some portals that could aid him in traveling through this dimension. He's pretty sure they were wormholes, but he had a lot more fun pretending it was fast travel from one of those video games Peter had told him about. 

He kept the smile glued firmly into place until he made it back; it instantly fell afterward. Sure, he remarkably discovered that he was okay with everyone moving on, but that didn't mean his lack of physicality didn't  _ hurt. _ That being unable to touch them, to hug them; to talk to them at all wasn't an outlier which caused a pang of grief to boil within his core like a blade to his gut. 

He just wanted to be  _ home _ . 

He found himself once again standing before Bucky's door, willing himself to go inside. He knew Bucky didn't change in the bedroom anymore, rather the attached bathroom instead; as they deemed that to be a  _ "safe for doors zone," _ so he wasn't worried about walking in on anything illicit. He wasn't sure why he hesitated at all, and inevitably slumped his way in; his body practically fizzling on it's way through. 

_ God, that was starting to feel really weird.  _

Tony  _ could _ say that he ran to Bucky because he was the only person who could see him, he  _ could _ say that he was feeling low enough to accept comfort from almost anyone, he  _ could _ say that the fact it was  _ Bucky _ who would hopefully comfort him didn't matter… 

He  _ could _ .

But he'd be lying. 

The truth of the matter was, that Tony  _ chose _ to go to Bucky; That even if anyone could see him, he thinks he  _ still would have chosen  _ to go to Bucky. 

And that scared him. 

But for right now, he would ignore the feeling, once again. 

Bucky was in bed when Tony came in, however still awake; and sat up when he noticed his guest.

"Tony?" he asked gently, sensing the man's gloomy demeanor. 

"I'm alright, Robocop," he muttered faintly, "Don't, uh… not really feeling like talking about it." He flitted the man with another weak smile. 

"Would ya like me to read to ya again? I'm in the middle of book three now," he offered, speaking in a low, hushed tone; but still seeping with genuine compassion. 

It was his eyes, Tony's subconscious supplied, they were so full of expression; and being on the receiving end of his absolute benevolence riled Tony's stomach in the best of ways. His chest coiled in a tight knot as butterflies bombarded his heart. 

"I would like that," he spoke just as quietly, offering Bucky a small smile, praying his eyes still conveyed his infinite gratitude. Not only for offering his reading services, but for not pressuring him to talk about it; because honestly, what would he say?

_ I got sad and angry at the universe while looking at my family who thinks I'm dead, came back here, and oh yeah, maybe I have feelings for you?  _

Right, because  _ that _ will work out  _ splendidly.  _

Pushing every thought out of his mind and all but  _ begging _ them to vacate the premises for at least a day, he looked back toward Bucky, who now had the aforementioned book in his hands; waiting. 

"Oh, yeah, there was one other reason I came here tonight. I wanted to show you something," Tony announced, walking over toward the bed. 

"Oh yeah? What's that?" 

"This," Tony stated, right before firmly plopping himself down on Bucky's bed. 

Bucky stared at him dumbfoundedly for a moment before the situation finally sunk in, "Tony, ya didn't fall through!?" 

"Nope," he chimed half heartedly. He  _ was _ excited, but he still couldn't get rid of the funk he was in. 

"Are ya-" 

"No, I'm still in  _ Somewhere,"  _ Tony cut in. 

That was what they'd started to call the place Tony was trapped. Honestly, it was better than the  _ other _ name Tony tried using: Somewhere. That. Is. Never. Known, or  _ STINK, respectfully.  _ Bucky shot that one down quickly, and they settled on just  _ Somewhere _ .

"I've been practicing, mostly while you're away or asleep; since I don't require rest or any form of sustenance. The doc speculates it's because I don't have a physical form here, right? Not like I'm a ghost or anything like that, but as if the plane I'm on isn't a physical plane, so I was transformed to fit, to belong here." 

"He may have mentioned somethin' like that a time or two," Bucky smirked. He wasn't about to pretend he understood half of what those two talked about; he was their middle man, no more of use when it came to all this stuff than a parrot. 

"Right! He said I was basically nothing but energy, so I've been trying to focus it. I'm getting better, little by little. I still can't pick up or move anything, and I still phase through things pretty easily; though, if I'm being real with you, it feels really odd now; but I can, I don't know… sit on things?" 

Bucky quirked a brow quizzically at Tony's announcement. 

"Stop, let me finish," Tony huffed, "I tried it with a chair at first." 

"Kinky," Bucky cut in, face an emotionless deadpan which was  _ weird _ considering the context. Tony simply gaped at him. 

"What? I'm tired, I lose my filter."

"I you're tired, then you should sleep, not read." 

"No, I will read. I want to," Bucky stated sternly, fixing his gaze on Tony's with intent. 

Tony chuckled, but caved easily, "Alright, alright, I give. Read away Belle." 

Bucky scrunched his face at Tony in a mock scowl, before starting to lead them back on Harry's journey. Book three was his favourite so far. 

As if repeating moments from earlier in their lives, Bucky had fallen asleep half covered; only this time he was laying on his back, and the book had been dropped on his chest when he nodded off. 

Tony looked at his face once more; warmed by it, how peacefully soft he looked, then thought about whether he should leave or not. He mulled it over tediously, and decided that he didn't think Bucky would mind if he'd stayed; or at least he  _ hoped _ so. He wouldn't sleep on the bed without permission though, because  _ obviously _ that would be a breach of contract. Not that they  _ had  _ a contract, but still. 

Tony moved over to the reclining chair in the corner of the room and got comfortable. It was next to the window, and he was able to see the stars twinkling faintly in the distance. That, mixed with the steady hum of the man's breathing, soon lulled him to deeply relaxed state. He wasn't asleep, but his mind was clear, and he felt content. 

Sleep took him before long. 

⤜⤑⤑⋆✩❂✩⋆⬸⬸⤛

When Bucky roused from sleep to find Tony curled up in his chair, his heart nearly leapt from his body. It definitely  _ wasn't _ what he expected to wake to, but he could say he was  _ pleasantly _ surprised. Getting up slowly, he silently shuffled over to the man. Was he… asleep? He stared down at him for probably  _ too long _ a moment, letting his heart flutter with contentedness. Becoming aware of just exactly what he was doing, his face broiled to a deep heat, red splattering his cheeks. He swallowed thickly, and with it ate his shame. 

"Tony?" he called softly, trying to wake, but not startle him. 

"Mnnh," was Tony's response. 

"Tony, wake up," he snickered. 

"Wha?" Tony grumbled while sitting up. His eyes were still mostly closed and his hair was mussed in every odd angle imaginable.

Bucky felt so elated that he was allowed to see Tony this way; because he  _ obviously _ was okay with it based on the fact that he stayed the night in his room, right? His heart felt so full he thought it might burst as he basically vibrated through the floor. Was he on speed? Lord, why did something this  _ simple _ make him feel so giddy?! 

_Tony was_ _really fuckin' adorable in the mornin'! Shit, oh no!_ _I can't handle this!_

He really was in a heap of trouble, wasn't he? 

Tony finally roused most of the way from sleep, though made no effort to move from his comfy spot. He blinked once, twice; then his eyes wandered to Bucky who was still standing in front of him. 

"I… was asleep," he declared, heavily confused. 

"Yeah, looks to be so; and  _ boooyy _ ,  _ you look pretty cute when you're sleepin' _ ," he drawled in a playful manner, echoing what Tony had said to him all those days before. 

The deep blush that glided up Tony's neck and face would have been unmistakeable even from space. 

Bucky broke into vivacious laughter, grinning widely before walking away toward the bathroom. Tony's groan of embarrassed displeasure followed him through the door. 

"Sure, Terminator, just wake me and leave me why don't you!" he called out. 

"It serves ya right, Tony. That's how it feels!" came Bucky's amused lilt. 

When Bucky emerged from the bathroom only five minutes later, Tony was pouting in the chair; arms crossed over his chest. 

"Oh ho, Tony, come on," he chuckled, "You deserved it and ya know it." 

Tony scrunched his face up and followed Bucky's path over to the dresser where he dug around the drawers and tossed a few items onto his bed. 

"Harumph!" he hollered. 

Bucky turned a bewildered gaze back at him, "Did you just say…  _ harumph?"  _

Not answering that, Tony focused his attention on the articles of clothing Bucky had tossed over; usually the man doesn't take out multiple things and lay them out, rather, simply choosing something and throwing it on. 

"You going somewhere, Buckabye?" 

"Yeah. Got a meetin'. I'm supposed to  _ look presentable _ but  _ not too formal _ ," he quipped, mimicking Sam's tone when the man had said it to him. 

"Oh yeah? Sounds nice." 

"Maybe, maybe not. It ain't really my thing."

"The blue one," Tony declared. 

"What?" 

"Wear the blue one, it matches your eyes; and blue universally is considered a more calming colour than red tones." 

"Oh… yeah, thanks Tony!" 

"Happy to help, my little sugarplum," he cooed dramatically. 

"Oh my God," Bucky muttered while his head shook from side to side, "I'll see ya later, Tony," he finished, smiling brightly at Tony before heading out. 

His room was empty when he got back and he turned a blind eye to the pang of discomfort that made him feel. It had been a devastatingly long day and he just wanted to sleep. 

⤜⤑⤑⋆✩❂✩⋆⬸⬸⤛

Tony was walking through the halls of the compound when he felt something odd pull at his chest. He wasn't sure what the sensation was, but thoughts of Bucky worked their way into his mind and he was walking toward the man's room without a second's hesitation. He didn't waste time calling out and passed straight through the wall to find Bucky in a fitful sleep. His breathing was ragged and choppy, body visibly shaking, and his face was scrunched almost as if he were in physical pain; distressed whimpering escaped through a closed mouth. The moonlight shining into the room illuminated the thin layer of sweat covering his skin. 

Pulling himself out of the initial shock, he rushed over to Bucky and tried shaking him awake, but his hands slipped through Bucky's form. His anxiety skyrocketed, feeling as if he would vibrate out of his skin not knowing how to help, and his entire being ached for the man. 

Tony was afraid he wouldn't be able to pull Bucky from his nightmare, but he had to try, "Bucky, wake up!" he called out; but the man didn't stir.

He needed to do something fast,  _ anything _ ! Bucky's breathing was getting worse by the second and tears were beginning to form at the corners of his clenched eyes. Tony focused everything he had and forced it forwards, hands on either side of the sleeping man's face; hoping to any God that was listening that this would work. 

Bucky's eyes sprang open with a start. He was breathing unsteadily, taking in shaky gasps of air, the panic still evident on his face; but he was awake. His eyes fluttered as his vision came back into focus, zeroing in on the man hovering above him. 

"Tony?" his voice quivered as he quaked out the simple word. 

"Yeah, it's me, I'm here," Tony said with relief, "I'm here, you're alright." 

"I can… I can feel you," Bucky spoke softly, only a slight tremble and watery eyes evidence of the panic he had felt just moments before; and maybe the occasional quick gasp for air. 

"I… What?" Tony asked, blinking away his surprise. He backed away from Bucky and sat on the edge of the bed at the man's side instead, hands sliding across his face removing the contact in the process. He was practically stunned into silence and couldn't form a coherent response. Did he feel anything?

Bucky sat up slowly, edging back so he was face to face with Tony, "It was… I felt ya." 

Tony looked down at his hands which were splayed open in his lap, then met Bucky's eye again. 

"Can we try again?" Bucky requested, trying desperately and failing to hide the desperation and  _ hope _ in his eyes. Raising his right arm, he held his hand out, palm facing toward Tony in invitation. 

Tony hesitated only for a moment before he mirrored Bucky's actions with his own left arm; his hand hovering less than an inch from Bucky's; eyeing the two outstretched hands as if they were a puzzle to be solved. The thrill behind the  _ what if _ of the situation had every nerve in his body on edge, and he swallowed thickly, heart thrumming strongly in a steady thump. Flicking his gaze back to Bucky's, he thought the other man looked just as nervous as he was; and that eased some of the tension that coursed through him.

They were in this together. 

He moved his middle finger first, pressing only the tip of it to Bucky's; letting out a soft gasp which Bucky mimicked with a quick inhale of breath.  _ They both felt it _ . It didn't feel like pressure, nothing so much as physical, but rather an energy. Tony pressed the rest of his fingertips to Bucky's before sliding their palms flushed together. A soft tingling sensation surged through where skin met skin, almost like the warm hum of electricity; not at all painful, but entirely present. 

A smile cracked Tony's face as exhilaration dashed through him, warmth and excitement bubbling up from inside his chest; a huff of a laugh that refused to remain caged bursting out. Mirth washed over Bucky, and he too was grinning back at Tony. The two were so elated Bucky's nightmare went almost forgotten; but behind the stunning smile Tony had grown all too fond of, he could still see the weariness and utter exhaustion in the other man's eyes. 

He stopped his laughter and once again met Bucky's gaze, eyes pleading with questions of,  _ "Are you okay?"  _ going unasked; though a smile still remained on his face, somewhat smaller and dimmer, but still fond.

He needn't ask them, though, because Bucky already knew, and responded, "I'm alright, Tony." 

"You're sure?" 

"Yeah, just tired." 

"You should sleep," Tony stated, sending another gentle smile toward his companion.

"Yeah," Bucky said, flopping back down onto the bed, "I suppose I should." 

"Of course, Rapunzel needs her beauty sleep after all," Tony huffed. 

"Isn't Sleepin' Beauty's name Aurora?" 

"Okay, you got me,  _ Aurora _ ," he snickered. 

Silence fell between them; stretching on to an almost awkward state before Tony stood abruptly, patting his pants as if he were removing some dust. He eyed the door, obviously intending to leave; but Bucky couldn't ignore the sense of  _ longing _ he saw in the man's eyes. Bucky was all too familiar with longing. 

Tony took a step toward the door and Bucky's eyes trailed after him, "Will ya stay with me?" he asked softly, halting the man in his steps. Feeling that Tony was being troubled by something and seconds from fleeing again, he wanted to stall him; hoping his question would be enough to get the man to stay. A selfish part of him wished Tony would because  _ wanted _ to, wanted  _ Bucky;  _ but he would suck up any ounce of companionship Tony would offer regardless. He didn't want to think about Tony only being kind to him, or willing to spend so much time with him because he's the only person able to see him. He didn't; so he shoved that to the dark place of his mind with the remnants of his nightmare. 

"I don't know, Buckaroo, I thought maybe I would go bother the wizard tonight. You know, hide his scrolls, throw his stuff on the floor or something," he hummed. 

Tony wanted to stay, _God_ _did he want to_ , but he felt himself growing too close to Bucky, much too close; and after what they just did? It frightened him. It scared him how much he _wanted_ it, and he wanted to run; because this was bad, wasn't it? 

"Please?" Bucky whispered so softly it was almost inaudible, but the heavy pleading in his voice was like a blaring siren to Tony's ears; and Tony was a weak, pitiful man. 

He knew he couldn't deny Bucky anything, didn't  _ want _ to; and turned back to face the man. Bucky rolled onto his side so he was facing toward him, and Tony's legs reacted on their own accord; who needs a genius mind when your body will just do things for you? No thinking necessary. He found himself once again lowering himself onto the bed, this time laying down facing the object of all his inner anguish as well as his deepest desires. This time he wasn't rushing in to wake Bucky from a nightmare, no, no; it was one hundred percent due to his own selfish yearning, his incessant need to be close to Bucky, to touch him, to  _ feel  _ him; and Tony would take everything Bucky would offer. It didn't matter if Bucky was only asking because he had a nightmare and didn't want to be alone, not because he actually wanted  _ Tony _ to stay; that didn't matter. 

Bucky deserved happiness, and Tony would give it to him. 

Bucky's hand lay across the pillow; Tony fixed his eyes onto it after he was able to pry his gaze away from Bucky's. He couldn't pinpoint the emotion within them, but it left him feeling exposed; vulnerable. Slowly reaching up, he placed the back of his hand across Bucky's palm; that heartwarming tingle crackled back in full force pulling Bucky's concentration towards their intermingled hands. Bucky let out a satisfied hum, moving his fingers just slightly, enough to feel the static flow through their skin.

"Thank you, Tony," he breathed, refusing to meet the man's eye once more, in fear of what emotions might show through his own. He wasn't exactly sure what he was feeling, but he  _ did _ know that he'd be happy if it never ended; if he could feel this way forever. 

"Of course," Tony whispered. 

⤜⤑⤑⋆✩❂✩⋆⬸⬸⤛

Tony laying in Bucky's bed became a regular occurrence after that. Not only did they discover that Bucky was plagued by nightmares considerably  _ less _ on nights that Tony was there; but they both desperately  _ needed  _ it; like the tide needs the moon. 

And who were they to deny themselves? 

They were getting ready for another night's rest; Tony hunkered down on the bed, waiting for Bucky to follow suit. Eventually he arrived and crawled in, plopping down with a sigh. 

Tony could tell something was bothering the other man, but waited patiently for him to speak. He would when he was ready, and if he wanted to. Tony learned a while back not to pressure Bucky into speaking, and that even by  _ asking  _ if he wanted to talk, it could sometimes make him feel like he  _ had to _ . 

Staying silent wasn't one of Tony's strong suits, but for Bucky; he  _ would. _

They sat there in relative silence, uncomfortable only due to the lingering distress Bucky was in. Nearly ten minutes had passed before Bucky finally spoke; and they felt like the longest ten minutes in Tony's life. 

"I'm sorry," he stated directly. 

"Sorry? For what, Buckercup?" 

"For the pain I caused ya, in the past, in Siberia… all of it," he muttered, subdued by his guilt, but resigned with the knowledge that they had grown so far past those terrible times. 

"I told you there wasn't any need to apologize," Tony sighed, but not unkindly. 

"I know, but I wanted ya to hear it from me; to know that I  _ mean _ it." 

"I already do, Bucky." 

Bucky turned toward Tony and peered openly into the man's brown eyes, "You're amazin', ya know that?" he said smiling affectionately. 

"I have been told, oh, once or twice," Tony replied playfully, and they shared a laugh before hunkering down and letting sleep befall them. 

It was easier to force away their guilt, all the negative thoughts which plagued them, when they were together. 

⤜⤑⤑⋆✩❂✩⋆⬸⬸⤛

Bucky was in the gym going to town on a sandbag when Colonel Rhodes practically smashed the door open and stormed over to him. 

He looked  _ livid _ and almost on the brink of tears; and Bucky was honestly in fear for his life. He hadn't the faintest clue what he could have done during the Avenger's meeting earlier that day to warrant this level of pure, unadulterated wrath; and if the floor could just open up and swallow him right now, that would be  _ great! _

"Hey there, colonel," Bucky tried for lighthearted. 

"Sargeant!" he yelled coldly; and something about the man's voice and demeanor had Bucky's spine straightening like a post. He practically commanded to be seen at attention, and Bucky complied, dutily snapping his mouth shut. 

"He's here?!" he barked, now directly in front of the supersoldier. Confusion slowly began to creep onto Bucky's features, but Rhodey continued, "Barnes, you better tell me the truth! Tony, he's  _ here?"  _ He was biting back tears that were threatening to fall. 

And there it finally clicked into place. Bucky isn't sure how Rhodes had found out, but that level of aggression now made sense. He  _ was _ keeping his  _ best friend being alive _ , or mostly alive, from him for over a month now. It would only make sense the man was irate. He was  _ hurting _ .

"Yeah… he's here," Bucky replied, and Rhodey finally broke down after searching Bucky's eyes for sincerity and finding it as the truth. "Well, not  _ here currently,  _ but… around," Bucky added, hoping to alleviate some of the man's grief with humor. 

He hoped it didn't fall flat. 

"You're an asshole," was all Rhodey could choke out between sobs. 

"Yeah, so I've heard," Bucky grinned, gently rubbing the man's back in hopes to soothe him. 

Rhodes was one of the people who it took the longest for him to befriend; well, if you didn't include the people Bucky had no  _ desire _ to be friends with. He didn't blame the man for how he was treated at first; he was Tony's  _ best friend _ , and Bucky was… well, you know. 

It had been all painfully forward professionalism and aloofness when they first started working together; and to be honest, Bucky would have rathered the colonel to just be a straight up dick. Dealing with hatred was  _ easier _ than having someone be so kind, yet so cold at the same time. He still shudders thinking about it. 

But it didn't last forever; eventually Bucky's disaster charm even cracked through the War Machine's hardened armor. 

He was going to have to have some  _ words _ with the wizard. 

⤜⤑⤑⋆✩❂✩⋆⬸⬸⤛

It's a couple days later when Strange steps into Bucky's room through a portal, startling the man in the process. 

"Alright, enough!" he shrieked, hair now tangled in the sweater he was trying to take off. He yanked on the dastardly thing until it came loose and whipped it onto the floor, "I already have  _ one _ person ignorin' the fact that doors exist, I ain't gonna tolerate two," he croaked, scowling at the good doctor. 

"Ah, yes. Please  _ do _ pretend that you can't tolerate Tony coming and going from your chambers as he pleases," Strange teased, fixing him with a knowing glance. 

Bucky was wise enough to be embarrassed and not try to lie his way out of it. 

_ Was he really that obvious?! _

"Torturing you isn't why I came here, however; no matter how fun that may be." 

"Yeah? What do ya got for us, doc?" Bucky said, walking over and giving Strange his full attention.

"Is Tony here? He'll want to hear this," Strange asked. 

"No, he's n-! Nevermind, yes he is," Bucky stammered as Tony walked through his door that very second; right on cue.

"Great, now, if you'll please follow along, I do believe I have figured it out." 

Tony's eyes grew wide and he looked both relieved and smothered with anxiousness, "He's serious?" he looked to Bucky for confirmation, who nodded and graced Tony with an excited grin. 

"If you two would stop making goo-goo eyes at each other so I can speak, that would be wonderful. I haven't got all day," he scolded. 

They both had the audacity to look surprised. 

"Right, so, I believe the key to bringing you back is within the next eclipse," Strange began. 

"Eclipse?" Bucky questioned, "What would an eclipse have to do with anything?"

"Well, if you would let me finish," he smirked kindly before continuing on, "The next eclipse is special, a complete solar eclipse." 

Bucky started to say that that wasn't  _ too _ special, but Strange continued slightly louder to hinder him from speaking. 

"There's also supposed to be a planetary alignment at the same time. Now, the planets only align about once every five-hundred years; give or take. Factor those odds  _ and _ add in a solar eclipse? Those odds are, oh, lets say; practically zero. It will never happen again in our lifetime, our children's lifetime, or their children's children's lifetime."

"Say children's _one_ _more_ time," Tony mumbled causing Bucky to huff out a laugh. 

"Watch it, Stark; I hold all the keys to getting you back, remember," he warned, but the sly smile that curved his lips showed no rancor.

"Okay, so; how's that help us get him back?" Bucky inquired. 

"During a planetary alignment, the planes of our dimension are lined up with all the others;  _ but _ , that means all the planes from dimensions  _ parallel _ to ours will be lined up as well. They'll all be passing over each other in unison, essentially. Since I believe Stark is trapped on a parallel dimension that's somehow still connected to ours, I should be able to use the alignment; the overlapping of dimensions, and create a portal that he could simply walk right through." 

"Just like that?" Bucky questioned.

"Just like that." 

"Then what's the eclipse have to do with anything? Sounds to me like it isn't important?" 

"That's where you're wrong. The  _ eclipse _ is detrimental to finding Stark's actual location. You may be able to see him, and he can see you, and everything here… but  _ here _ isn't where he is." 

Bucky and Tony shared a look and held their gazes for a few seconds longer than absolutely necessary, "That… makes sense," Bucky agreed.

"Think of it as a mirror. Everything inside the mirror is the same, yet different." 

"Right, It's backwards," Bucky agreed again, "But Tony isn't seeing everything in reverse." 

"To you he isn't, and to him he isn't; but when an image is mirrored, it continues on the same as it always would, it doesn't know that it's wrong. Tony and yourself may not be seeing things similarly, and you would never know the difference."

"So how will the eclipse help?" Bucky asked again, determined. 

"The only way I can bring Tony back through the portal, is if I can find him. I will mark a certain place dedicated as the Home Zone. When the eclipse on our end covers that zone, it should also cover it in Stark's zone, but there's no telling if it will be the same time down to the second for both. Time could work differently there; and it is of the essence. I will keep the portal open on our end for as long as I can, Stark's only job will be to jump through it when it arrives for him; he may not be able to see it at the same time we do. It'll be open on our end the entire time, but Tony… you'll only get one shot at this. Everything must be done perfectly or you'll be lost there, possibly forever." 

Tony swallowed thickly, his eyes were wide and he was looking rather pale. It was happening, it was  _ actually _ happening, he was going to come  _ home _ ! If he didn't mess it up, that is. It was a lot of pressure, and his stomach was in knots, stabbing at his sanity like a thousand tiny needles. 

"Hey, you'll do great," came Bucky's soft baritone, placating his nerves like aloe on a burn, "So don't worry, okay? Your calculations are perfect, Tony; If anyone can do this, it's you." 

Tony smiled weakly at him, he wished he could have done more, but he was afraid if he moved too much, he might actually cry. 

"I'll leave you to figure things out here," Strange called, then promptly disappeared just as he'd arrived. 

Bucky stepped over to stand in front of Tony, bringing his hand up to brush the other man's cheek; feeling the current between them, it thrummed like a pulse. "You alright?" he asked instead. 

"Yeah, I am. I really am," he said, smiling fondly at the wonderful man in front of him.

Bucky smiled back. 

"The eclipse isn't for another three days, that can wait… let's do something else? A movie, maybe?" Bucky suggested. 

Tony wholeheartedly agreed. 

⤜⤑⤑⋆✩❂✩⋆⬸⬸⤛

Bucky walked back into his room to find Tony standing in front of the window; the orange hue of the setting sun caressing his skin with a soft glow. He stood there all but entranced by the man's beauty; his breath hitched and his heart skipped inside his chest at the sight.

_ He was gorgeous,  _ Bucky thought, not for the first time. He wasn't sure how he ever managed to live without knowing Tony; wasn't sure how anyone could look upon him and find him lacking. Tony was everything and more, like the sun on a cold winter day; beaming with warmth and light, radiating the world with kindness; and a small, selfish part of him hoped that the way they found to bring Tony back to this plane  _ didn't  _ work, because if he came back, this  _ thing _ between them would end, wouldn't it? 

The very thought of losing everything they grew to have, of losing  _ Tony _ , was enough to churn his stomach; a pit of despair threatening to engulf him and never let him leave. Thinking about going back to how things were before, of sleeping alone, of not seeing Tony's bright smile every morning and pretending to be annoyed by it, or hearing his laugh, the one Bucky grew to adore so much, of knowing that that laugh was brought out of the man  _ because of him;  _ it was enough to suck the air right out of his lungs and threaten to never let him know peace. 

As if finally noticing Bucky's presence, Tony's eyes lit up and he turned to face him with a beaming smile. 

"Hey there, Buckaroo!" 

Bucky's eyes met Tony's and his entire world slowed, time all but stopped him in the moment and he was unable to move. His heart skipped and felt like it was racing, yet unmoving all at once; like it would burst at any given moment; and he knew then that he couldn't hide it anymore, that no matter how hard he tried to ignore it and shove it aside, his feelings beat out his denial. 

_ He was in love with Tony. _

This beautiful, caring, generous, man that was so far out of his league it was a sin to even think about; and Bucky was going to help Tony break his heart, and he would do it willingly, because Tony deserved happiness. Hell, he deserved  _ the world _ , and Bucky would bring him home, then he would let him go like he always knew he'd have to. 

Tony's smile faltered and he took a step toward Bucky, a look of concern dimming the twinkling bliss that had been in his eye just seconds before, "Bucky, what's wrong?" 

The question shocked Bucky out of his inner turmoil and his body gave a small twitch before focusing back on Tony, who was now right in front of him. Tony brought his hand up to Bucky's face, as if wiping away the stray tear Bucky didn't even know had fallen with his thumb. He couldn't actually stop the tear from sliding down, of course, but the notion warmed him regardless. His hand lingered, just barely hovering next to Bucky's face, enough to feel the electricity between their skin, and before Bucky could stop himself, he turned his head toward the man's hand, eyes falling shut as he nuzzled into the feeling he'd come to know as inherently  _ Tony. _

A feeling he  _ loved _ , and that he'd soon have to learn to live without.

"Bucky?" Tony asked again in a whisper of concern. His chest ached, he wasn't sure what was wrong, or how to help. "Talk to me." 

"Nothin'. It's… nothin'. I'm just… I'm happy you're comin' back tomorrow, that's all," he replied, trying to keep his voice from quivering and forcing his tone to mimic happiness instead of the grief he was feeling.

If Tony didn't believe him, he didn't say. 

_ God, Bucky; mourning something that ain't even yours to have. You're pathetic.  _

"Would you like me to read to you this time?" Tony offered, hoping that it would at least help Bucky relax, "You'd have to turn the pages for me, though," he uttered with a grin. 

A choked laugh escaped Bucky, or maybe it was a sob, he wasn't certain. "Thanks, Tony. I would love that." 

⤜⤑⤑⋆✩❂✩⋆⬸⬸⤛

The day had finally come, everyone seemed high strung and focused. Rhodey had apparently spilled the beans to the iron family and they were all present as well. It heated him, pleasantly to the very core of his being seeing them there; seeing them and knowing that they  _ knew  _ he would be coming back. Because he  _ was _ , this would work;  _ it had to.  _ He couldn't wait to see them; to hug them, to hold Morgan and tell her how much he missed her. 

It was almost too much to bear. 

"Get ready," Strange's voice called out, "I'm opening the portal, it's starting; so pay attention, Stark." 

"Yeah, yeah," he muttered, but he'd never been more alert in his life. He's so alert he'd wager on being able to catch a grain of sand someone tossed at him. 

"The eclipse is at totality, Tony, now!" Stark shouted, and Tony sprung into action. 

Strange was right, when the eclipse was at its climax, he couldn't see the portal anymore! Over three minutes had passed and he still couldn't find what he was looking for, and those were the three most treacherous, bone chilling, relentless minutes of his life. 

But then he saw it; the concise splattering of golden orange sparks. He zeroed in on that gorgeous glitter wheel like a hawk on its prey, it was passing by quickly; much quicker than it took to arrive. He forced every ounce of motivation and energy he had left and darted for it, not hesitating in the least. Taking a leap of faith, he forced his body through the portal, and landed on the ground with a thud. 

Not very graceful, but he'll take it. 

When he looked up, it was light out already… odd, the eclipse should still be going on, shouldn't it? 

He didn't have much time left to contemplate the workings of the universe, because a high pitched squeal snapped him back to reality. 

_ Morgan _ . 

He looked in the direction of where everyone had been standing and was promptly tackled by a seven year old girl. He was sobbing before he realized it, holding her tightly and kissing the top of her head. 

Bucky sat back and watched Tony being mauled by everyone he loved. The hugs and tears, laughs and smiles they shared. He was so happy for him, but it was bittersweet. He knew this was coming, that he would eventually have to give Tony up. It was always meant to happen; but  _ knowing  _ didn't make it hurt any less. 

Maybe they could still be friends. 

_ Bucky didn't want to be friends; that would hurt too much.  _

He silently walked away before anyone could see him cry. 

Between everyone practically manhandling him into hugs and all of them snotting all over each other, Tony hadn't gotten a chance to see Bucky yet.  _ It worked,  _ and he was excited to share it with him. They'd worked too hard not to celebrate; but when he looked, Bucky was nowhere to be seen. He wondered where he'd gone, and a large part of him was severely saddened by the fact he wasn't there. He pulled himself out of the pile of limbs and took a few steps away, gazing longingly toward the compound. 

"We were going to close it, you know?" Strange's voice spoke up behind him as the man walked up and stood at his left. 

"Pardon?" Tony inquired. 

"The portal. The totality ended on our end, and the entire eclipse had nearly gone past… you didn't come. We thought maybe you had missed your shot, and when the eclipse was over; we nearly closed it." 

Tony swallowed thickly; even the mere  _ thought _ of that made him feel nauseous. "Why didn't you?" 

"Bucky," he said matter of factly, "He practically threatened us to keep it open for a while longer. We did, and you jumped through." 

Not for the first time, Tony wondered how many times his heart could beat erratically when it came to Bucky before it actually killed him. Apparently he at least had one more.

Strange didn't say anything more on the subject, instead announcing his goodbyes, "Welcome back, Stark," he gave a sincere smile, and then swiftly walked off. 

He was busy, Tony was sure. He'd remember to thank him properly later. 

"Tony," came Pepper's warm voice, a sound that was practically music to his ears. 

"Pep!" he said whipping around to greet her, praying she didn't notice the sorrow hidden beneath his eyes. 

She did. She's known him too long not to. 

"What's bothering you, Tony? Talk to me," she spoke gently. 

"It's nothing, Pep." 

She appeared to ponder over her thoughts, deciding on what to say next, "I'm… sorry, Tony," she began, but Tony swiftly cut in. 

"No, Pepper, don't do that to yourself," he said, grabbing both her hands in his, "You thought I was dead, Hell, I may as well have been. You moved on, and that's  _ fine _ , it's great, actually! Besides, I may have been sneaking around a few times, to keep an eye on you and Morguna; but not in a creepy way!" he exclaimed. 

"Tony!" she said through laughter with tears in her eyes. 

"Right, I saw you, Pep. You looked happy; you  _ are _ happy; and that's all I ever wanted, all I could ever hope for." 

She sniffled, choking on a sob, and looked down at their hands, her hands in his as they had been so many times before; but it didn't quite feel the same. Not trusting herself to speak, she just let herself cry. 

"I'm happy for you, Pep," he hummed in sincerity, giving her hands a light squeeze; letting his own tears of the moment finally fall. It felt a lot like goodbye, but also like a new hello. 

"Thank you, Tony," Pepper choked out, sniffling once more she looked back up and met Tony's eyes again; a type of gentle determination welled within hers. "Tony, we were good together," she began. 

"Yeah, we were, weren't we?"

"We were, but we were never  _ great, _ " she finished. 

Tony fixed her with a look that showed his confusion, brows furrowing a little as he didn't quite know where she was taking this. He could tell there was more coming. 

"You and James?" she began, watching the slight surprise at the words and miniscule blush spatter Tony's face, "Don't let that slip away. He could be your once in a lifetime, Tony. Or, maybe once in a second lifetime in your case," she chuckled wetly. 

"I technically already had my second chance; with you and Morgan, remember?" he asked, but was no longer looking at her, as his attention was back at the compound where he's sure Bucky was. 

"Third times the charm," she quipped. He shot her a quick glance and smirked at her, unbelieving of the joke. "I'm just so happy you're back. Now  _ go _ , Tony. You know where to find us." 

He thanked her with every ounce of gratitude he possessed, kissed her on the cheek; and swiftly ran off back toward the compound. 

He needed to find Bucky. 

⤜⤑⤑⋆✩❂✩⋆⬸⬸⤛

He ran through the compound straight for Bucky's room, completely forgetting that they  _ never told anyone else  _ about his arrival. That wasn't his concern right now, however; it was Bucky. I guess the old team and their associates would have to see a ghost for a few moments. 

"Bucky!" he called as he ran up to the man's door; he  _ almost _ ran face first into it, forgetting that he couldn't walk through physical objects anymore, but he wouldn't ever admit it. He realized only after, that he needed an access code to get into the room now, unless Bucky allowed him inside. 

"Bucky, please open the door, are you in there?" he called out while knocking loudly. 

No reply. 

So either Bucky was  _ ignoring _ him, or he wasn't in his room at all; Tony hoped it was the latter. He stood there silently for a moment trying to figure out where Bucky might have gone… he thinks he has a good hinkering, and set off back down the hall to the gardens. 

_ Bucky always said that place made him feel calm.  _

Tony was overjoyed to find that he was right; but when he saw the man sitting there on the bridge, looking down at the creek below; he froze. All his earlier drive was swiftly sucked out of him like someone yanking the plug out of a drain. Bucky looked so ethereal, like every dream come true; he was perfect. Too perfect for Tony, his subconscious supplied; but he bit that down  _ hard. _ Now wasn't the time for wallowing in self pity wrapped in doubt, he wanted, no  _ needed  _ to tell Bucky how he felt. He needed it like a fish needs water, and he was simply a goldfish trapped in a broken bowl. 

He gathered all the courage he could muster, slapping himself on the face a few times for good measure as an added boost; then walked over to where Bucky was seated on the edge of the bridge; feet dangling over the side.

Bucky must have been deep in thought, because Tony walking up didn't even faze him, "You know," he began, and Bucky's focus was ripped toward him, a look of shock evident on his face, "I really hate running." 

"What?" Bucky rasped in response. 

"You left." 

A pause. 

"Why?" Tony asked. 

"Tony, I…" he didn't know what to say, "I don't know. Wanted ya to spend time with your family, the people who love ya." 

"You weren't there," he spoke softly; words coming out forlorn and broken; and if that didn't take Bucky's already tattered heart and completely destroy it, he isn't sure what would. 

He looked up at Tony, who'd taken to leaning onto the railing with his forearms. Tony wasn't looking at him, rather, he was looking out at the gardens. Bucky was looking at Tony, though, and it  _ hurt.  _ He felt miserable, and pitiful; and a really annoying part of him felt  _ abandoned _ ; but if that were true… Tony wouldn't be here, right? Bucky was almost certain that Tony would've gone back home with his family after he got back, it was his  _ home,  _ it was where he  _ belonged _ . So why was he here? 

"Tony… I'm," he began, but stopped and exhaled a deep sigh; deciding to get up and face his demons head on, "I'm sorry I left." 

"Why did you?" he asked, turning to stand face to face with Bucky. 

"Ya want the truth?" he asked, looking dejectedly guilty. 

"Of course I do," Tony murmured tenderly.

Bucky waited for his will to catch up, mulling over how to say what he wanted, "I thought ya wouldn't want me there, I suppose. Thought that since ya had your family back that I-" his voice cut off with a choked sob; and that sight instantly broke Tony's heart.

Watching Bucky struggle not to cry was the worst thing he'd ever had to witness; and if he could sue the universe for making the man feel this way, he would a thousand times over. 

"I thought ya didn't need me anymore, so why should I stay?" his voice was despondent, not even a fragment of his usual cheeriness could be heard. He muttered those words so silently they were barely even audible. The only reason Tony had heard them at all was because he was close; close enough to touch. 

Tears began to well up at the corners of Tony's eyes too; this wasn't how today was supposed to end; it was supposed to be happy.  _ They were supposed to be happy!  _ But now they stood there, together, but broken; and Tony wasn't sure he could slot their pieces back together. His chest ached with a pain so relentless it nearly stopped his breath.  _ What good was breathing if I couldn't have him?  _ His stomach roiled with restless panic, and his heart thrummed painfully; quick and harsh.  _ What good is a heart if I can't give it away?  _

That's when it finally dawned on him, and he cursed himself for not remembering sooner.

_ Touch! _

Tony reached out and tentatively took Bucky's right hand in his left, running his fingers across the man's palm as he slid them together; his thumb tracing the back of Bucky's hand gently. 

A guttural noise erupted from Bucky's throat, almost like a raspy whine; if he'd cared at all to feel ashamed, he would have considered it pitiful. But  _ shame  _ wasn't even  _ close _ to what he was feeling, not now. Not when he was feeling  _ Tony _ for the first time; the man's skin touching his own. He thought he might have missed the strange kinetic static he'd grown accustomed to when they mimicked touching before, but this was so much better; so much  _ more _ . Nothing would ever feel better than this.

His chest swelled and his heart beat like a war drum; he held so much affection for Tony he felt like he might drown in it.

Tony peered up into Bucky's blue eyes, watery and rimmed red with the anguish that had been eating away at him, that was now trailing down his face in little streams; and even though the man looked raw, ragged, and was sniffling because he couldn't quiet his flow of emotions; Tony thought he was the most gorgeous person he'd ever laid eyes on. 

He would never tire of looking at Bucky. 

Bucky peered back into Tony's brown eyes. They were filled with so much tenderness, so much pure, unadulterated  _ devotion _ , that it made Tony's knees weak and his heart to skip a beat, or five. He conveyed so much emotion through his eyes, it was a miracle he was able to keep any secrets at all; and he was looking at Tony like he would willingly give him the keys to his kingdom, secrets and all. 

Tony still wasn't sure he deserved it, but damn if he wasn't going to  _ try _ . He wanted to be deserving of Bucky, to be worthy of someone with a kind, beautiful soul such as Bucky's. Reaching up with his free hand, he gently wiped away the tears staining Bucky's cheek, leaving his hand to rest there cupping his face. Bucky didn't hesitate to turn his head into the touch, a soft, satisfied humm vibrating in his throat as his eyes fell closed. 

He opened them soon after and met Tony's eyes once more; unable to stop the smile that cracked his face, small, tender, and seeping with adoration. 

Tony found himself smiling back. 

Lifting Bucky's flesh hand up, he spread his fingers out across the man's palm, imitating their positions the night they felt each other for the first time; reminiscing in the memories, yet gaining a new feeling entirely. It sent a shiver down his spine and he wondered if Bucky felt the same. Tony laced their fingers together this time, and refused to let go. 

"Stay, please?" he practically begged, no quieter than a whisper. 

Bucky inhaled a shuddered breath. 

"I don't know why you thought I wouldn't need you anymore," Tony continued, "But I do, Bucky.  _ I need you;  _ and I  _ want _ you to stay," he said earnestly, willing Bucky to understand the veracity of his words; to  _ know _ how important he was to Tony.

Taking a step forward, Tony all but removed the distance between them; leaving mere centimeters of space. If they were any closer, they'd be able to feel the hammering of each other's heart beats. If Bucky hadn't realized Tony meant for him to stay as  _ more _ than a friend, there was no mistaking it now; it shouldn't have been a mystery before either, but he kept convincing himself that nothing was there in his denial. 

Bucky swayed into Tony, just slightly; his heart had been dashing so fast, for so long; he was starting to feel lightheaded. He feared his legs might buckle and send him falling off the bridge. This was too much, he felt like he was on fire! He isn't sure he could take much more; not when the only thoughts racing through his head were  _ want, want, want!  _

Tony moved his hands to the front of Bucky's chest, fisting them into his jacket before firmly pressing his body against Bucky's larger frame. Brown eyes bore into blue, projecting all of their deepest desires; their affection, devotion,  _ longing _ . 

Bucky's breath hitched staring into them, every nerve in his body was misfiring; he could  _ feel  _ Tony's breath mingling with his own, and when Tony's soft whisper of  _ Stay _ hit hears ears once more, the words he was struggling to say bubbled up and spilled out of him; he couldn't have stopped them. 

"I will... I will stay. Whatever ya want, for however long ya want… I'm yours," they came out hushed, and raw; and Tony felt every ounce of honesty within each letter as they were spoken. 

Tony tightened his grip on the man's jacket and tugged down; Bucky willingly let himself be pulled; Tony lifted himself to his toes at the same time and smashed their lips together. A throaty groan grumbled out of Bucky, he exhaled through his nose and became almost pliant in Tony's hands. He slumped forward and snaked his arms around Tony's body, pulling him in so tightly it may have looked like he was trying to force them to become one whole; and deepened the kiss. 

Tony's hands slid up and he tangled them into Bucky's hair. They kissed feverishly, but it wasn't about lust; it was about showing each other everything they didn't trust themselves to say, about transmitting their feelings of adoration and affection into one another's very soul, it was about revealing to themselves their deepest desires; to be wanted, accepted, cherished,  _ loved _ , and  _ know _ that they were accepted fully in return. They kissed deeply to show that their desires were one of the same, and that their feelings were returned. 

Bucky was wrong before, this was so much better than anything any world could offer. He could have been gifted all the riches in the universe; all the glory, literally any and everything imaginable; and he would discard it all if keeping it meant he couldn't have  _ this. _

When they finally pulled apart, Bucky rested his head to Tony's; nuzzling into the side of his face. They both were smiling, unable to contain it; snorting with laughter over how ridiculous they both had been. 

A few moments passed with them simply holding each other, snuggling into their warm embrace. Bucky's forehead was still pressed to Tony's and he exhaled slowly before he spoke up once more, "I love you," he murmured with conviction. 

He felt Tony angle his head upward just slightly, but he remained silent. 

After only a few seconds had passed, he could practically  _ feel _ a devilishness threatening to erupt. 

"Don't do it," he demanded, "Don't you  _ dare _ Han Solo me." He pulled away only far enough to see Tony's face; the man was grinning widely and as soon as he began to open his mouth, Bucky sprang forward and silenced him with another kiss; swallowing the man's delighted laughter in turn. 

They were so, so loved. 

And everything would be okay. 

⤜⤑⤑⋆✩❂✩⋆⬸⬸⤛

**Author's Note:**

> I watched a few movies once, so that makes me smart heuhuehuehue. For real though, if anyone comments about how incorrect my "handwavey comic book science" is, or sends me a novel explaining why I'm wrong; it'll be deleted and ignored. I did my fuckin' best 😂😂


End file.
